guys i feel amazing today. although i went to the doctor today and they confirmed that im allegic to everything outside sadly. i am just filled with such happiness. i walked past the store not once not twice but three times today. and i did not buy any cigs. i honestly want to walk past again just to tempt myself but i feel like ill cave to the pressure. its best to set a goal and not go past it.although i am craving one so bad. i feel like im strong enough to go without caving. its really weird though today since i woke up all i kept hearing is everything will be ok. i want to believe that this is one of those times when the lord picks you up and carries you.
i went out last night and drank and to my surprise i walked home and usually once ive made it home i get a cig and smoke before i go to sleep. last night i just came home and ate and went to bed. i usually need to smoke when i wake up after a night of drinking. yet today i woke up and i didnt need nor want one. i felt perfectly fine. not hung over not in need of anything. i want this feeling to continue to feel this way and make my life more guided to continuing this feeling.
i just feel so invigorated and alive today. i want to shout to someone that god can help you through anything. but i wont since i live in new york and dont want to be another bible thumper on the street. but none the less i feel like anything is possible. i have a handful of poems that ive been working on.
im super excited to fine tune them and put them up some time today. also that ill be getting my violin back by then end of the week. im not sure yet how ill work it into my schedule but im excited to actually get to pick it back up and sound horrible lol. seeing as the only song ive ever learned was twinkle twinkle little star. my goal will be to learn a new one. hopefully i can remember how to read the notes.
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