today is a day that will live in infamy. i finally broke down. i was so close to reaching the goal. i was three days away. yet i dont feel this failure is the end all be all. i feel this is a lesson to strengthen me. from the moment i woke up today i had such a ill feeling for the day. my feeling was then mimiced in my coworkers. it seemed everyone was having an off day. now as i sit i feel down since this is another chris fell short moment.yet i dont feel like giving up completely i will like this rebound will be even stronger. now i see my faults and weaknesses to battling this. i know where my strengths lie. so i will consider these two weeks a test run.
the worst part of today was i actually considered not even being honest with you guys and not being honest with myself. ive never been much of a dishonest person so that thought made me feel very sick. so here i am now in my naked honesty letting you guys know my failures. hoping that hopefully i can go through it so that you dont have to go through it. i do have a plan to finish this goal and continue in order to be smoke free. i have been talking to a few people and i have come up with some better exercise things to take up my off time from work.
on a lighter note i think i might have partially broken my back at work. a box feel on me today and my back has just not felt the same. touching my toes is a task now. i feel the pain but i really have a fear of going to doctors now. i especially dont want to go to one to work on my back for it to get more messed up then it already is.
finally guys i ask that you continue to pray for me getting stronger. i look forward to starting over and finishing this. my goal for the rest of this year is finishing what i started. these small stumbles cant hold me back.
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