well i have gone against the recommendations of my other fellow bloggers and writers. i decide to work out for the past two days. mistake lol my body is so soar. im not sure what to do with myself. the rest i have been getting has helped. i go to work tomorrow and will do my best to not let it affect me.
although i feel fine and their is no hunger working out was definitely the wrong idea lol. yet with all the new found energy i have it felt so right. previously i felt lazy and sluggish when it came to working out. yet now i have found such a will to be active and do something with myself i can't explain it. i love this feeling and wish i had done it years ago.
as far as my time with the lord. i have being praying heavily today since the devil has tempted me many times. i also got into the book of judges which i found very sad. the amount of men that died in wars for the lord. makes me sad by the third chapter i didn't want to read anymore. it seemed like an endless cycle of killing, enslaving, turning on the lord and the repenting. just to start the circle over again.
still i find myself reflecting and allot of the decisions ive made and realize i do it to myself all the time. i am not killing or enslaving any but myself. i have become a victim to believing things must be done a certain way. looking at forgiveness light heartily and even at times mocking the creator.
never before have i felt such a revelation and self awareness. most would read this and feel i feel regret for my actions. well they are right but i have learned to look forward and not make the same mistakes. in the words of professor X " just because someone stumbles and loses their way doesn't mean they are lost forever"
The past: a place of potential promise, and possibility. We are the sum of our choices, as what we do now defines what we will do. Infinite decisions mean infinite consequences, for the future is never truly set.
i set out to find an enlightened state with this fast and on day four i believe i have almost reached my destination. i hope that the prayers of others and myself will continue to come and that god will guide my mind heart and soul to a brighter future.
lol i would also like to add i haven't smoked bud since last Tuesday and i have yet to actually feel the withdrawal symptoms that i felt in the past.
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