Leasing pussy

What a fool was i
To believe you were all mines
Laying in my bed
While you thinking of him
I held you in my arms
Just to see you kissing him

Thinking you was working
or in class only to realize
You were with him
I opened my heart and home
Something I said I would never do
How could I think
You were all mines

I can't call you a cheater
Since you were never really mines
Your pussy was on loan
Like ace's Mercedes 550
Being driven around the town
I feel like a clown now
Cause I thought you was all mines

In the words of kanye
You were in college complaining
There were no jobs
But you was sucking
His dick the whole time
I guess a blow job
is still better then no job

Why would I call you back
After what I saw and felt
From his lips to my lips
I had to take a trip
Out of town to clear my head
In a car that wasn't even mines
I tried with you
And you say I didn't feel no ways
Well I do

I know my worth
I deserve better then that
I would of did anything for you
All I asked in return was honesty
I Told you from day one
Deception was the only felony

The truth

You use to tell me
I reminded you of your father
A line I've heard many times
From different voices in my life
Was it my punctuality
Or the liquor always on my breath
Could it of been my heart
Since I'm so emotional

Now your with a man
Old enough to literally be your father
Sometimes I think about us
All the things I could of done better
My dreams have faded into accomplishments
You pushed this blog on me
How did you know
My potential was more then I knew

If your reading this
It means I'm no longer with you
Maybe you hate me
Could you want to spite me
Maybe your proud of me
For becoming what
You knew I could be
Possibly you still love me
Deep down in your heart
Cause I still feel for you

I'm living fast but not fast enough
Karma keeps catching up to me
If you hear the rumors of me
And my past disgust you
Then I apologize baby girl
My views of this world
We're misshapen and misconstrued

How many nights I told you
You'll find a better man than me
One that will worship you
As the queen you are
Little did I know
That man was inside of me
Now it's too late to let him free
I pray your New man
Is nothing like me
I pray that he does the things
I regret not doing
Like rubbing your feet
After your long days of work
I pray he shares his feelings
When the nights get cold

I'm leaving my feelings
Here and no where else
Cause I'm In fear
of breaking up a happy home
How did you understand me
Better then I understood myself
I know you've grown now
So I hope these words hit you
Where it counts
Cause they haunt me at night

I was a fool
Just running the streets
When I could of
been building up our home
There is a chance all this true
Like when I say I love you

Wanting to live

I wanna be alive
I wanna live
I wanna see my potential
I wanna grow old
Just to be there
When you need someone to lean on

With this vibe
Running through my veins
I feel as if I can fly
Just jump up and touch the sky
I could make a million
Before I lay in a coffin
I wanna scream to the heavens
To tell the world about Christ
Let them know he saved my life

Can I be honest for a moment
I've hidden myself away
So no one can see all my fears
So the world can't see my tears
Allow me to reveal
Myself after all these years

I never thought I would see the day
When I call Christ's name so often
That last line alone
Could make me lose viewers
But that's the price of honesty
Of how good he's been to me
Fuck this blog and fuck you
Look what the faith
of a mustard seed
Has allowed me to accomplish

A city boy from the projects
Now gets attention
from Australia to the Netherlands
Emails from Malaysia to Russia
Even in France they show love to me
All from a reddit post
That wasn't suppose to be

Coldest winter

Three years we been over
Ask me why I still fantasize about ya
Ask me why I still write ya
So we no longer
Want the same things
When the air clears
The love will still be there

I could say
You ripped out my heart
Stepped on it then left the country
But I can't I chased you off
When the love turned to hate
I kept a pistol under my pillow
Reverting back to my old ways

I put the drugs down
To find Christ in the slums of shoalin
But but but but baby
The fifteen minutes of fame
You told me I could have
Has been stretched beyond
60k viewers and counting
All from poems of you

Yeah there been others since you left
I pray that your having  good times
Cause I'm here having mines
Sobriety hasn't stopped by sexuality
It took my 24 years to find
What's another decade to get you back