Lying to myself

Everything isn't just peachy
I'm feeling with my mind
It's like my own personal purgatory
I've been battling demons
Watching twitch to get away

Everybody thinks I'm in paradise
Not realizing I'm drowning at the beach
I still don't have the power
To answer the phone for my father
I'm still holding the grudge from '89

The world's colder then you know
Even though it revolves around the sun

longing for a love

I no longer possess

Yearning for the success

I so desperately desire

My demons visit me nightly

I was carrying dead weight

Like pall bearers at the funeral

Found God and grew impatient

With the blessings he was giving me

Release the fear or let it consume you

The what if monster

Haunts me every day

Testing me from the shadows

Like the devil did Jesus on the mountain

I've started taking advice

Ignoring what my pride says

Yet it doesn't sit right with me

This year I've felt out of place

Paranoia and stress

Have consumed me

My father left my mother

I promised myself 

I would never repeat him

So I find myself

A bachelor at 27

Still chasing shirts

Cause my heart still hurts