Between categories and definitions

Dreams of Americana
Stars and my plight
Forced gratitude
Mixed with money schemes
Have turned
Me into a fiend

What I use to be
Can't be what I am
In the present or future
Even the shadow
That follows you
Changes throughout the day
So how could
Your mind state not
Every time
You look at your watch
Even the Times changed up

I'm trapped in my mind
It's starting to feel like it's a purgatory
Write this or write like that
Focus on one genre
No-one successful
Ever changed their style like you
Whispers of disapproval
Fill my life
Tying to stop
my dreams and control me

I'm fighting with demons
That are hotter then
Asphalt in NYC during the summer time
If I was Cameron from
Paid in full
I would of done the same thing
Caved to the money and bling
Cause Harlem got me

I'm wasting away in my room
Face stuck on a computer screen
Typing a mile a minute
Trying to cook up
A Grammy or
New York Times best seller
A Naidni's journey
Is way over due
But still on its way

The .45 I bought in September
When you left me
Hasn't seen the light of day
Since Frank died
I'm trapped between
Who I should be
And who I want to be
I'm black yet
I don't act hard
I'm reading books
And expanding my vocabulary
How could I define myself
When they call me an oreo
What category do
I fall under
When it's all
Said and done