Drinking for numbness

Ain't no drink or drug
That can numb my soul now
I just want to be free
My vices stick to me
Like gum under your shoe
I was once blue
Now I'm black
Comfy in my skin
I found a new love
That's called self
Filling my mind with drugs
Believing I could only
Sleep with liquor
Self realizations come from growing
Trapped in my mind
Trying to find
a piece of mine
Deep down in my mind
Truths turned to false
Self loathing turned to hatred
Broken mirrors still reflecting
The me I was running from
Now don't haunt me
Fighting my demons
Like Constantine
Growing bolder but wiser
As the days pass
The bottle hold no control
The weed doesn't soothe
My insecurities
Can't block my conscience
Won't take me places
I've never been
My vices just blow
Money in the wind
A vision of a better me
Perseveres my will to
Push harder and farther
Attain a new level
Of me with me