Tuesday, December 23, 2014

What is true- o God

O God not again
I gave away my heart
I can't go back
I can't go back

I love smiling
Ive accepted death
I just love life more
Theirs this feeling down in my soul

Why could they ever question
What's true
These beautiful mistakes
My heart beats within
Isn't that my hearts response

I've felt love
I can't look back
I can't look back
I'm addicted to this feeling
Now I'm in control
It's pulsating deep in my soul

O God I gave her my heart
What is real and true
We're making beautiful mistakes
I can't look back
I can't look back

I'm strong as a lion of Judah
She makes me melt like ice cream
Her mind is sharper then a razor
I'm thinking of places I could take her
Eiffel tower in gay parie
shopping in London

She don't want diamonds
she don't need attention
She ain't for all the emotions
She smiles like the sun
So I call her my sunshine chick

O Lord catch me as I'm falling so fast
It's so deep in my soul
I gave away my heart o God
I'm praying that she loves me to

We're making beautiful mistakes
I felt love and can't look back
These beautiful mistakes
Turning disasters into a masterpiece
O God I gave away my heart
I won't look back
I won't look back

I just love life v2

It was always in my face
I was just to blind to see
Wait no I knew it from jump
That's what attracted me to you

You don't need me
You don't need we
You didn't need my hugs or drugs
You just love your life

Son you got me
Figured out my switch
Saw the changes
Coming out to late
Your bold with your words
I should of listened costly
Analyzed the words
Like I do my favorite radio songs

That honesty is so hot
You touched me in more ways then one
You wanted it
More nights then not
Now you've walked away
Kept your word true
Is it to late to look back

I'm not your world
But can I be in it
Enjoy life with you
My smiles still as nice
Not as common as before

You don't love me
So why say it late nights
Why kiss me with
Your morning breath
Letting those lies roll off your tongue

Tell me son
I know your not like every one else
I can't give my heart to just anyone
Let's live for all it is
I've found my new love of life

Nights to remember

Remember our first kiss
You took me to your private spot
Snuck out to meet a stranger
You flew across the country
To make me smile

You must remember
Waking up with me next to you
Looking out your job
For me in the ride

Remember our first night
We fit perfect
Like a puzzle piece
All night just loving

Your so thoughtful
You made me a promise
I stopped the jokes
Started to take things serious

You must remember
Looking into my eyes
Seeing right to my soul
Feeling my heart beat within

Maybe I was rushing to fast
Shouldn't of jumped the line
All we had was time
I should of been more patient
Should of been stronger

We can't live with regrets
We can live with memories
We can start a new
We can remember the good night's
Turned into even better mornings

You o you

Your honesty is refreshing
It reminds me
Why I loved you
It keeps the heat to my fire

Your honesty give me hope
When you say there is none
Two broken lovers
Being fixed by the light

Your honesty brings me back to life
Just when I started over the edge
I've never been more focused before
I lost sight once
On what was right

I've got a new plan
A new smile and a new ride
Love for myself and love for you

Your honesty touches me
Deep down on the inside
It use to hurt
But now it's found respect
It's found my Admiration

Your honesty drives me crazy
It drives me wild with passion
It would deter another
But it strengthens me

Your honesty should make me turn my back
Revert back to the old me
Run to the hills
Or cuddle up with another

Yet it compels me to pray more
Not only for you but for myself
Not in vain but
For the sake of staying

Your honesty drives my creativity
It gives me the inspiration
To write and create
To love more and live right

Your honesty is honest
Your words are so true
Yet is our hearts any less
Do they deceive us with beats
Or did it make us run
With our feet

Your honesty is sincere
My words are dear
My promise is true
I will see you
I've come to far too back down

Your honesty is true
Your honesty is love filled
Your honesty is pain
your honesty wasn't spoken in vain
Your honesty brings me
Closer to fame

Drinking for numbness

Ain't no drink or drug
That can numb my soul now
I just want to be free
My vices stick to me
Like gum under your shoe
I was once blue
Now I'm black
Comfy in my skin
I found a new love
That's called self
Filling my mind with drugs
Believing I could only
Sleep with liquor
Self realizations come from growing
Trapped in my mind
Trying to find
a piece of mine
Deep down in my mind
Truths turned to false
Self loathing turned to hatred
Broken mirrors still reflecting
The me I was running from
Now don't haunt me
Fighting my demons
Like Constantine
Growing bolder but wiser
As the days pass
The bottle hold no control
The weed doesn't soothe
My insecurities
Can't block my conscience
Won't take me places
I've never been
My vices just blow
Money in the wind
A vision of a better me
Perseveres my will to
Push harder and farther
Attain a new level
Of me with me

Monday, December 22, 2014

Lost lines

Hot lines circle my mind
Never have the time
To write them down
They fade my mind Over time
Words of love and patience
Reflections of my soul
I choose to pour into words
Gone before they're grown
The seedlings of my brain
Under nourished and starving
Screaming for the sunlight
To stretch out and grow like oaks
Lost in the dirt of life
No pen and pad to water 'em
Just gambles of getting it back
Like a paramedic who won't quit
Poems of my soul
Lost in the deep pockets of my mind
Hot lines for the time
That will never see the light

Friday, December 19, 2014

The mermaid V.2 the short story

The year was 1847 August 3.the night before the Merriam was about to set sail to china. Jameson walked into the town's pub and took a seat in the corner.he was accustomed to sitting by himself.Jameson preferred to be alone on his journeys. His family was miles away back in England.his ship mates were no more then just that ship mates.it was a life he has become use to over the years.

Jameson was in Spain waiting for his ship to set sail.he wasnt a normal sailor by any means.Jameson hopped from ship to ship usually getting off before the ship made it to its final destination. He picked up what ever job they offered on the ship he chose.there wasn't a position on a ship that he couldn't work.so many captains gladly accepted his hand for their ships.

This was his tenth year on his journey of ship hopping. He sat and watched all the other patrons.they spoke Spanish and other languages he was familiar with. A waitress came over and asked him in Spanish what he wanted.Jameson answered her in her native tongue.the same thing he order at every pub. Three pints and half a chicken with rice. The waitress nodded and left to place his order.

She came back shortly with one of his pints. Jameson stated to drink as he continued to people watch.he started to pay attention to a group of sailors across the bar.they were talking almost over every one.he took they were from America from their accents. The sailors had obviously had enough to drink.they were almost belligerent and teasing one of their mates.
"Youve been at sea to long Johnny 'ol boy, your becoming delirious you salty dog" one sailor said as he drank from his mug
"I've been sailing these seas for over twenty years I've seen all there is to sea of this world.you must take me as a fool to believe in old sailor tales" said another older sailor who seem to be the senior of the group.
"You say what you want enjoy your laugh but I know what I saw and I know what happened.you can't convince me of anything else"the sailor on trial proclaimed "I've seen a mermaid and she saved my life"

With those words Jameson almost choked on his drink. He listened more closely to the group.The victim of ridicule was trying to convince them that he had his life saved by a mermaid. His ship mates continued to joke on him and dismiss the idea of such a thing.
" you must of hit your head when you went over board or swallowed to much water"one sailor said laughing
"You may laugh at him but that man tells you salty sea dogs no tale.I've seen one for myself and lived with her for a year" Jameson said standing up.

The whole pub got quiet as Jameson spoke.all the attention was on him now. The group with the sailor in question bust out laughing.
"You old sea dog you must be as crazy as him.you've been at sea for to long"one sailor said laughing

The pub joined in with the laughter.most of them continued with what they were doing. Others whispered to their friends while watching him.
"Come tell me your tale chap...waitress bring me two more pints"Jameson said sitting back down in his chair.

He was not concerned with the steers or laughter.It was something he had become use to.Jameson had heard his own share of ridicule and accusations of insanity over the years of his journey.along the way though he met others who believed him or had seen what he saw.
Every new encounter with a believer sent him on another chase to find that mermaid he met so many years ago.

The woman that saved his life when all was forsaken.was out there in the sea so wemewhere.he knew it and didn't care what anyone else had to say. Jameson stroked v his thick beard as the young sailor made his way over.over the years white hairs had begun to fill his black beard. He pulled a pipe out his jacket and began filling it with tobacco.

When the young sailor finally came over and sat down.Jameson had lit the pipe and was puffing thick clouds of smoke into the air. They shook hands and Jameson took note of his strong grip.he held his hand for a second longer looking the sailor in the eyes. For a moment they just looked at each other.Jameson saw the look of seriousness in his eyes.he recognized the look after having this talk so many times.this young man had seen it.he just knew it. The look of relief in his eyes screamed finally someone believes me to Jameson.

"I'm John Phipps from Albany"
"Charles Jameson from London"
"Thee Charles Jameson... the mermaid Hunter?"
"I'm no mermaid Hunter just a man trying to find the truth.....So tell me your tale mate"
The waitress came over and placed the two pints on the table.She looked at Jameson with a look of pity he had seen many times from bar maidens.many people couldn't accept things outside the norm.most just considered him an old fool who had some old drunk tales.nothing more then a next drunkard in the pub looking for attention.once the waitress walked away the sailor began his tale

Two years ago I rode the iron maiden on a voyage to the strait of Gibraltar. I was just a deck hand nothing more then a fresh fish at sea.still green behind the ears wanting to sea the world. Just another drop off and pick up for a merchant ship. Nothing to fancy. Half way through the voyage we ran into a bad storm.

The ship took a good beating.the winds broke down the mass and killed a few of my ship mates.I was thrown over board by the white waves.as I fought the tide I kept getting pulled under by the current. as I finally lost track of the ship.my strength began to leave me. I fought the current as best as I could but I finally found myself floating deeper down then I could help.

As I swallowed water and accepted my fate in Davey Jones locker.I saw something swim past in the pitch darkness. I thought it was a shark and I was really about to meet my end. Then I felt two hands grab me and pull me. Last thing I remember before I passed out was seeing long shiny yellow hair.

Then I awoke on a beach with her starring down at me. She was the prettiest women I've ever seen. Green eyes with long flowing golden hair. Her body was created by God himself. She was without a blemish or fault.the perfect woman and every man's dream. She Fed me dance and sang to me many nights.She had the voice off an Angel.her name was parinth and she treated me like a king.

When parinth took to the sea her legs turned to fins. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. We swam together many times.She was so graceful in the water.I've been swimming for years but parinth made me feel like a klutz compared to her.

after a month or two I spotted a ship that was passing a few leagues out. She begged me to stay with her but I flashed the ship down.while we waited I thought I had convinced her to come with me back to the new world. She agreed and kissed me.once the ship docked parinth ran into the woods. I chased her but by the time I cleared through it she was jumping into the water.

I screamed and pleaded with her not to leave but she looked back and then submerged. The deck hands that came to land.claimed they didn't see her with me.They treated me as if I was a madman or cast away.who had been stuck on the island to long. By the time I made it back to Albany. I had visited that island three times and never found her again.ship to ship they hear my tales but look at it as a delirious dream.

I read about you in a paper in port in Cuba a year ago.They said you've traveled the seven seas hunting mermaids. It said you were missing for a year.thought to be dead in Davey Jones locker. It was like 8 years you had already put into your search.the papers said you were insane.

your the reason I'm here now in this journey. After reading about you I set back out in search of my parinth. She has to be out here somewhere. One day returning to the island I know she will be there. This time I still stay with her I won't come back to this wretched world of yellow belly's.

"Were you with safrin the whole time....Have you seen my parinth in your travels?"
"I haven't even found my safarin and it's been a decade to this date"

Jameson took a huge sip of his beer.They both sat in silence for a moment. Jameson took a few more pulls of his pipe.the food the waitress had brought was in front of him still untouched. He had listened so intensely that the food had gone cold and his beer warm. Jameson signaled the waitress to bring him another. The cold food was no issue to him, that wouldn't be his first cold meal and probably not his last.

"Have you found any others since safarin....since she left?"
"Nope I've visited my island three times a year and some years more. I've even lived on that island for another year waiting and hoping....."

Jameson took a big swig of his beer. John did the same.They sat in silence for a minute just finishing their beers. John signaled the waitress for another round.

"You should put your attention into something better.your still young and have so much more to give the world...don't waste your time chasing phantoms....many nights I still hear her songs.when I'm alone on the deck by my self. I wake up in cold sweats at night thinking about her.....don't let this hunt take control of you"
"She is out there and one day I'll find her again..when I do I already know what I need to do this time...thanks you for the drinks...it was nice meeting you captain Jameson...I will find parinth and the world may or may not ever know but I'll know and that's all that matters."

John got up and dropped a few gold pieces on the table. he shook Jameson hand and they nodded at each other. It always ended like this Jameson thought. another man will be searching the seas for a dream. A woman that he lost that will never be found.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

My thanks to the fans

I want to thank everyone who has supported this blog.my fans in France you guys are amazing.I really appreciate the support.my close friends who have checked the page everyday even when I don't post anything.I don't want you to think your views go unnoticed. To my other fans around the world I want to thank you guys as well.all the love and support is really heart warming.

I've got all your emails and comments.i try to respond to them all as best as I could. I want to let you guys know I'll keep it up.I'll try my best to be more consistent with my post. These short stories have really become a new passion.I've found a new spark in my writing life.I've become so engrossed in them it's been hard to end them.they will keep coming though as I push to promote the new book.

I would also like to give a special thanks to everyone who has bought a copy of the book so far.weather it's been an ebook or the actually hard copy.I can't explain in words what it means to me to see people enjoy my work. I really appreciate the support and love that you have shown me.

Today marked the two month anniversary of me publishing it.I just want all of you to know how amazing I feel to of accomplished a dream of mines.I want all of you to know and keep in mind.if I can chase a dream and catch it you can do the same.we all can rise like eagles to our goals in life.

As far as the path this blog will continue on.I'll continue to find new angles to entertain you guys with.all advice and request will always be considered.just guys remember I'm only one person and real life sometimes collides with your passion. I will try to rise above the obstacles though.

Last but not least I want to shout out my biggest fan who has been watching the blog everyday since day one.you know who you are I won't embarrass you in front of the internet.just know your loyalty and support of the blog and me doesn't go unnoticed.It will come back ten fold someday in a villa in corfu.

A million thanks to all you guys again for your support and diligence with views.I really can't tell you what it means to me.

acts of glutony the short story

andrew sat at his chair clicking buttons on his keyboard like a madman. all his attention was on the computer screen in front of him. he was playing the world of warcraft.it had been four hours now since he stood up. his room was dark with the only light coming from the screen and keyboard. finally  he defeated the last raid boss. with a clap andrew pushed his chair back from his desktop and stretched.

a 2 liter bottle of mountain dew sat next to his keyboard. andrew pulled his chair back to the computer. he grabbed up the bottle and took two big gulps. he smacked his lips once the dew quenched his thirst. a pack of chips ahoy was on the side of his mouse pad. he grabbed a cookie out of it and ate it. after a few more cookies he took another gulp of the mountain dew.

andrew switched up his character and began leveling it up. it was already ten at night. in a few hours he would have to log off and get ready for bed. the school bus would be at his stop at 7:30 sharp. he knew if he missed it again his mother would never let him hear the end of it.

andrew dreaded going to school. it wasnt his grades or that he found learning hard. in all classes andrew was a straight a student. even in gym he tried his hardest to keep up with his peers. which was one of his biggest problems. the other students teased him about his weight. weather the jocks teased him on the track or people gawked at him in the lunchroom. andrew couldnt get away from their persecution.

alone in his room with a game was the only place he felt at home. no one could judge him in WOW. no one watched how many cookies he ate or what he drank. they only cared about his level or skill and gear rating. his guild members welcomed him and accepted the bright personality and knowldge of the game he had. some even depended on him to lead them in dungeons and raids.

andrew looked over at his clock.
"fuck" he said out loud

it was already two in the morning. where did the time go he asked himself. andrew finished up what he was doing and logged out. he shut down his computer and went to the bathroom. once he finished andrew got ready for bed. before he knew it he was sound asleep. the sound of his alarm abruptly woke him up.

andrew jumped up and slammed his hand on the buzzer. he went to the bathroom took a shit and showered. by the time he got changed. andrew smelt eggs toast and bacon. with his mouth watering from thinking about the meal he made his way downstairs.
"morning hun"
"morning mom"

andrew sat down and looked at the clock on the wall.it read 7:00 his dad came down and kissed his mother. mrs. clarke was 5'5 slim with brown hair. her green eyes shimmered as she kissed mr.clarke back with a smile. andrew dad was about an inch taller then her. watching his dad andrew could see where he got his wieght from.

as he ate his toast he wondered to himself how his dad ever got his mother. it wasnt that his dad was ugly but his mom was far from it. she was in her mid forty's and could pass for a women in her early thirty's. mrs. clarke giggled from something his dad whispered in her ear. that made andrew remeber his dad had the charisma he lacked. everyone loved his dad. he always left peole smiling or laughing.

"hun you bettter hurry up or you'll miss the bus" mrs clarke said

andrew looked down and realized he was halfway through his breakfast. he looked at the clock again. it was only 7:10 now. it didnt take andrew more then a couple of moments to finish scarfing down what was on his plate, washing it down with orange juice andrew got up from the table. he thanked his mom and headed to the door.

by 7:20 andrew was walking down the block to the bus stop. wendy was already standing there. she was skinny with freeckles and red hair. wendy was his crush but he could never muster up the will to tell her. everytime he tried something stupid always came out.
"morning andrew"
"morning wendy"

they stood in silence with andrew just looking at the floor. he kicked some rocks in front of him. racking his brain on what to say to her. she broke the silence
"did you do the extra credit for mrs.jones class?"
"o shit no i totally forgot about it"
"well you could copy mines if you want"
"thanks that would be great"

andrew looked up at her smiling face. then quickly looked away and back at the floor. he felt himself getting red in the face and about to say something stupid. the sound of the school bus coming up the block made him look up. andrew breathed a breath of relief.

"well you could copy it at lunch if you want.... ill find us a table just find me in the lunch room."
"you want me to sit next to you at lunch." andrew said more naive the he wanted to come off.
"ugh... yeah if you want" wendy said now with a weird smile
"yeah sure i would like that"

the bus driver pulled up and opened the doors. they got on and went to their normal seats. wendy sat next to nancy and he went to the back of the bus. as they drove to the next stop he kept catching glances of nancy looking back at him. the two of them were whispering and giggling. once again he felt his face getting red.

the bus stopped and picked up a few more kids. it made it's way to the final stop before school. the one stop andrew hated. kirk copeland was at that stop. it seemed to andrew like kirks life mission was to torment him. every chance kirk got he bullied or teased him.

one day though andrew would punch him irght in the face. hopefully breaking his big nose and shutting him up for good. that fantasy came to a complete halt once the bus stopped. kirk and his pack of hyena's got on. as the bus started to move from the stop they made their normal B-line straight to him.

everyday andrew wondered why he sat int he back. kirk always came to the back. somedays andrew convinced himself that he wanted to be bullied. that he enjoyed being picked on. then he snapped out his pity party. the real reason he sat at the back was because, he was to big to sit next to anyone else comfortably.
"look who it is boy's andy the pansy" kirk said
"hahhahahaha andy the pansy, andy the pansy!" kirk's hyena's said in unison

the hyena pack was brandon cobble and zeph ranger. kirks lackey's and bully's in training. they followed him around and did everything he said and laughed at every joke. everyone on the bus watched on at the normal moring bullying. on one said anyhting they all just snickered and watched. some days andrew even noticed the bus driver watching from his rear view mirror at them. everyone watched everyday except wendy she never turned around. she never laughed or joined in with everyone encouraging kirk.

the bus finally came to a stop in front of their school. everyone shuffled off the bus and into the school. the hallways were packed as andrew headed to his locker. he finally found it and got out his textbooks for his first class. as he slammed his locker door, a feeling of being watched came over him. looking aorund andrews eyes caught wendy's. she was standing at her locker with nancy looking at him. she quickly looked away and closed her locker walking away with nancy.

andrew let out a huge sigh and thought to himself its gonna be a long day. the bell rang for first period. he quickly made his way to his classroom. as he turned the corner. kirk was walking his way witht he hyena's right behind him. andrew tried to pretend he was invisible and got as close to the lockers out of kirks path as best as he could. before he kept it kirks shoulder was slamming into his. all andrews books and notebooks went flying everywhere.

"watch where your going pansy" kirk said
"he!... dont you have class to get it!" wendy yelled
"what's it to you?" kirk asked turning to her
"you want detention today?" wendy asked tuggin on her hall monitor sash
"i'm heading their anyway tell the klutz to watch out next time"
"yeah tell him watch out"

kirk and the hyena's made a left and disappeared. wendy bent down to help andrew pick up his scattered papers. of all the days anyone could of been hall monitor. why did wendy have to be it today. andrew thought tto himself.
"you didnt have to do that... i  had it under control."
"i'm the hall monitor that's my job"

a picture of a lone wolf howling at the moon caught her attention. wendy picked it up and admired it for a second.
"i didnt know you knew how to draw!"
"i....i... it's nothing just a doodle i was working on"

andrew pulled the drawing out her hand. he felt his face getting red again. for a moment in time they looked into each other eye's. wendy was about to say something but andrew cut her off.
"thanks i have to get to class"

andrew quickly rushed down the hallways. once he turned the corner he took a deep breath and face palmed himself. continuing to shake his head he hurried to class. through out the day andrew couldnt concentrate. all he could focus on was wendy. she called him andy. no one had ever gave him a nickname before. he watched the clock move and it seemed as if it froze.

every class seemed to last forever. all he could think about was lunch time. sitting with wendy, what he would say to her. what funny jokes he knew to make her laugh. by fourth period he already had a repertoire made up. along with half a black and white drawing of her almost done.

finally sixth period came and andrew excitedly got out his seat and headed to the lunchroom. before he knew it he had to slow down and catch his breath, andrew almost broke into a sprint there. he apused at the water fountain. while he drank his dad's advice flashed through his head. "be cool, just stay calm and be cool" sweat had already started dropping down his forehead from the sprint.

andrew drank some more water and pulled his composure together. he wiped his brow and took a breath. moments later he was standing in line trying to calmly scan the lunchroom. finally he spotted her sitting by herself. wendy looked his way and waved. andrew waved back as coolly as he could.

within no time andrew got his food and was off the lunchline. his mind was so focused on wendy. he didnt notice he was passing kirks table. before he knew it he was laying on top of his lunch. the whole lunch room broke out laughin. kirk had put his leg out right in front of him.

andrew got up and looked around at all the laughing faces. the room started to spin as he looked down at his wet and stained clothes. then he looked up to see wendy starring with her mouth open. before he could think andrew was running as fast as he ever did. out the lunch room and right into the bathroom.

he found an empty stale at the end and went inside, slamming the stall door behind him. in a rage andrew punched and kicked the door. then clutched his hand feeling like he broke a knuckle or two. tears streamed down his face. they werent from joy they were from anger. the door should of been kirks face. he should of stood up for himself. why did he run like a coward.

andrew pulled himself togeher and walked out the stall. he washed his shirt as best as he could. the spaghetti sauce stain just smeared. he was to embarassed to go back to class and look like a fat slob. as if on auto-pilot andrew just headed to his normal hide out. which was under the bleachers on the field. at least two or three times a month. andrew found himself sitting their alone with his notepad in hand. once again he was escaping reality. trying to figure out an excuse to give his mom about today.

"are you ok andy?" wendy asked

andrew almost sharded himself in shock. he was so focused on his drawing and thoughts. he didnt realize wendy had walked over all the way under the bleachers.
"is that me?"she asked looking at the picture
"uhmm...its nothing"

he closed the notepad quickly and scooted over and inch from her.

"i dint mean to be nosey....maybe i should of not came here....i saved you my muffin and apple i figured you were hungry."

as she said that andrews stomach growled. he held his stomach and accepted the food. wendy started to get up and leave.
"wait please im sorry im being a jerk... thank and hear check it out"

andrew handed her his notepad. wendy took it and looked through all his drawings. they sat for a few moments talking about them. he even managed to make her laugh. for the time andrew forgot all about what happened. all that mattered was they were having fun.
"isnt this cute andy the pansy got himself a girlfriend"
"yeah cute real cute kirk"

they were so enthralled in their conversation they didnt even notice kirk and the hyena's making their way to them.
"leave us alone get out of here" andrew said loudly
"what was that.. did you hear that guys the pansy is trying to have back bone" "why dont you come out from under their and say it to my face."

before andrew knew what came over him he was standing face to face with kirk. andrew had to look up at kirk but he was bigger then him. before kirk could say another word andrew punched him right in the nose with all his might. blood began to trickle down kirks nose. once he saw it a look of rage came over him. he punched andrew in the stomach and slumped him over. a left hook hit him right in the face knocking him over. next thing andrew knew was he was being stomped out by kirk and the hyena's. wendy was screaming for them to leave him alone.

the coach mr ryback came running over blowing his whistle and broke it up. he sent wendy to class and made the boys stay on the field and do push ups. he didnt need to ask who started it or what happened. he had saw it from across the field. he was proud that andrew finally stood up for himself but that didnt mean he could get off the hook for breaking the rules. mr.ryback knew kirk had it coming for a long time and he was kinda happy to see him get his just desserts deep down inside.

when the final bell rang for the end of the day he let andrew go home and kept kirk and the hyena's. as andrew walked away bruised and soar kirk and the hyena's started their laps. wendy was standing at the bus stop when he got their. before he could say anthing she gave him a kiss on his cheek.
"what was that for?" Andrew asked
"for standing up for me and yourself that was so brave... are you ok"
"yeah ill be fine nothing i cant deal with"
the bus door opened and they got on the bus everyone watched Andrew's face and whispered as he walked down the isles. he made his way to his normal seat but his time wendy slide in right next to him. Andrew gave her a smile as the bus started up and they rode away from the school.


Friday, December 5, 2014

Strange dreams


Every night I wake up in a cold sweat
I turn over to see you
I reach to touch you
But there's nothing there
Then I realize it's not real
You never needed me
You learned to fly already
I don't need anybody
But I would like somebody
We've spent too much time
Acting like it's that first summer
Lonely night guide us over the waterfall
We're falling victims to the thirst
For what it's worth theirs an angel
Underneath your surface
I've said once
I'll say it twice
Maybe even thrice
Your perfect to me
A tragedy can still be
A masterpiece
You were a fantasy
Now your televised
They post few months I've rationalized
25 starting not to feel so old to me
Most days I'm feeling 52
Where ever your going
My friend can I come

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

For the time being

Frank and Sarah sat on the train in silence once again.every few days it was always something they argued or disagreed about.one thing they could agree which started as an inside joke between them.over the years had become more true and less funny they weren't friends. They were good co workers. Using the term good lightly. Now they just listened to music from their headphones and watched the other riders.

Thirteen more stops Frank thought to himself looking at the digital display. The six train was more packed then usual today he noticed. With a sigh he leaned back and tried to get comfy. The man sitting next to him had a huge winter coat on that didn't make it easy.Sarah put her bag right next to him and odds and ends poked him out of it.

Most days he ignored her bag and it's contents.today  however it annoyed him more then he liked. With a big breath Frank stretched and made a little of breathing room for himself between the two. The man sitting next to him turned his dark face and gave him a look.Frank didn't care he was ready to explode.all he needed was a reason.it didn't have to be a good one either. The man didn't say anything, he just went back to looking ahead at the lady standing in front of him. Sarah didn't even bother to look she just continued tapping her fingers to the beat on her leg.

Frank hated how they were always just friends for the time being. Every few days after they left work it was always something.either he didn't hold a door for her or his answers to her questions weren't sufficient. Her being one of his bosses didn't help much either. It felt like they were back in elementary school.He chuckled wondering what she would do if he put a bugger on her. Probably freak out and get loud , causing a small scene on the packed train. It was an endless cycle that they restarted every morning they clocked in.

Frank considered that Sarah liked him. Yet he didn't feel the same for her.which sometimes led to them being in the situation they were in now. Her nit picking was a major reason why he didn't return her affections. People who held others to standards they couldn't reach always upset Frank. To him it was simple like accept people for who they were and take their short comings as they came.

Frank thought to himself not all writers were deep and descriptive. Judges didn't always give justice where it was deserved. Teachers didn't give more attention to the kid in the back of the class who needed it. That was just the world we lived in. Change and revolutions were easy to speak of.They were harder to put into practice.

Sarah looked at Frank and just wanted to roll her eyes at him.Yet she controlled herself and just let out a breath. He had so much potential that he just wasted she thought. Sarah got frustrated most days trying to push him toward things that would better him. More then enough promotion chances came his way. So many girls at their job wanted him.Yet Frank always went after the new hires that would never last.

she had tried to hook him up with other co-workers that could of propelled him further up in the company.Frank always denied it or showed no interest. There was always some excuse or reason he wasn't interested. At 32 she found it funny he could call other women in their age group old. He could of been a supervisor or area manager by now, if he thought with the head on his shoulders more then the one between his legs.

He had two degrees and worked on his master's in business.Sarah couldn't understand why he would let all that knowledge go to waste. Sitting in a cubicle pushing papers. If it wasn't for her saving his ass a couple times they would of been fired him. They started in the company together.she got three promotions and her own office. While Frank chose to lounge by the cooler flirting and making small talk.

It surprised her everyday that they were still friends.then she remembered they were only friends for the time being. A position for site manager in the Philly office opened.if she got she wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. He would be left to his own vices and free to do as he wanted. For such a grown man Sarah wished Frank would grow up.

"42nd st" the train conductor said through the speaker.

Only three more stops and their silent ride world be over. Today was just another ending to a day.tomorrow would be a new one that they could start fresh with.They looked at each other and for a moment in time.it seemed like they were reading each other's mind. Frank opened his mouth and said something. It looked like I'm sorry.Sarah took off her headphones.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing never mind!"
Sarah lip curled up and with a huff she put her headphones back on. Moments like that were the exact reason she was happy they were only friends for the time being.
"14th st" the train conductor said

They both got up and said bye then parted ways.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Heat of the moment the short story

James walked over to his closet and opened it. All his clothes were on one side of it.neatly organized color coordinated just how he left it. With a sigh he closed it. Dreading the fact that he even continued to punish himself. It had been five years since johanna had passed and he still missed her. It seemed like just yesterday her half of the closet was over flowing to his side.  

Now nothing stood there it was empty just like his heart. It took everything he had to pack up all her stuff and give it to charity. A year ago when they came James didn't even want to open the door for them. Even though he had called them five times prior.his conscience finally kicked in.

James sat in his lazy boy with a cup of cognac  in his hand. Watching all the boxes that cluttered his living room for almost a year slowly disappear. Clothes Johanna loved Just going with strangers. Channel sweaters, prada and Jimmy choo shoes. Armani exchange and other designers filled the boxes.

James took a swig and convinced himself it was for the best. That was what she would want him to do.not just allow them to collect dust or feed the moths. Johanna was always helping those less fortunate then her.he loved her for that and so the salvation army seemed the only reasonable thing to do with her clothes.He could no longer dwell on that lose. It was time to part with her things just as he did the day he turned off her life support.

It seemed like only last week he finally gave the doctors the order to let her rest in peace.  James could still hear the support machine flat lining and see her face as she exhaled her final breath.

Twice now James had killed her.his heart broke a piece at a time.for every fleeing breath she had took before her death. Five years ago they were in love enjoying their new bmw coup. The day had been filled with shopping and drinks. Johanna asked him to let her drive but he refused.if he could take that moment in time back he would of. Never in a million years would he of put her in any danger.

James felt fine in his mind. As they kissed on the car she asked him again. Once again he refused. With a snug look he had seen from her before Johanna got in the car. James started the engine and marveled once more at the purr of the engine. It was only a half an hour ride home one they took every other Friday night.Once they left forchina which was Johanna's favorite restaurant.

James picked up speed as they got on the west side highway all alone.before he knew it he was doing 80.the coupe handled like a dream in his hands.he couldn't of been more satisfied with his purchase. Johanna's hand started to creep up his leg.she loved the car just as much as him he knew.

James phone rang he ignored it. It rang again and he looked over to Johanna. They both knew who it was. There was always something going on at his job. It wasn't always they got to enjoy a day like this uninterrupted. Johanna smiled which warmed his heart.she was always so understanding when it came to him having to take a call and ran off to work. James went to click the Bluetooth button. Being a new car his eyes fumbled around looking for it. As he looked down to the dashboard.

Johanna screamed
"James watch out!"

A homeless man was crossing the street with his cart in front of them.James swerved in the nic of time to avoid him.johanna screamed as The passenger side tire popped and the car flipped three times. Knocking a fire hydrant over and stopping at the corner of a building.

Water rushed in the roof of the upside down car from the hydrant. James took out his swish army knife and popped his air bag then popped hers.
"Are you ok"
Johanna laid motionless next to him. Blood slowly crept down her forehead. he shouted her name as he tried to move.James realized his left arm was dislocated he could hardly move it.With all his strength he got out his side of the car. He ran over to her side and tried to pull the door open.it was jammed and wasn't budging.
"Help someone help us" James yelled to the empty street.

The homeless man he almost hit ran over. Together they pulled the door open. James took off Johanna's seat belt as fast as he could. Then pulled her out of the flooding car. She still wasn't moving her eyes lids flickered as if in R.E.M sleep. With the help of the homeless man. James moved her away from the crash as gently as he could.

The doctor in him quickly took over. He checked her pulse and realised it was rapid and irregular. The sounds of sirens snapped him back to reality. Within moments the ems workers were putting her on a stretcher and into the ambulance. James refused service for his arm and sat holding her hand. He was never much of a religious man but found himself praying. Tears dropped down his face as the ambulance zoomed to the hospital.

Once they arrived James stood helpless as his peers evaluated her situation. He didn't need them to tell him what was going on. He already knew James had seen this scene play out more then enough times. Just normally he was giving the news. Now he sat in the waiting room with a broken arm waiting.in another situation he might of found it ironic but now all he wanted was to hear was , Mr freeman it was just a concussion she is awake and fine. Do you want to see her. Those words never came and the news wasn't even close to good.

James took a huge gulp of his drink and snapped out of it as the workers,Took the last box and told him they were leaving. Shaking his head he awoke back in the present sitting on the edge of his bed. His flashbacks had started to merge. He felt as if he was in a dream. Walking around his empty house never really sure what day it was. everyday he hoped he would wake up and see her smiling face.

His .45 magnum was in his hand. James gripped it tighter. Now with all johanna's  things gone he actually felt alone. They never had time to have kids.which he now regretted always pushing the topic off when she brought it up. James thought they would of had more time more stability to enjoy with their kids.

James chuckled a little thinking about it now. With the gun in his hand though the smile quickly left his face. The heat of the moment had caught up to him. Sweat dropped down his forehead and onto his shaking hand. Slowly he put the gun to his temple and took a breath.

"James“ he heard someone yell. James turned around to see none there. Once again his mind was playing tricks on him. He looked up and saw his reflection in the mirror.
"Is this the man she fell in love with?" James's asked himself
A feeling of disgust started to creep up into him. He threw the gun on the bed next to him and stood up.