Why Marlon

It’s been two days, and I can’t remember ever being so unsure about anything in my life. Google seemed pointless, my bank account couldn’t support a visit, and I exhausted all the forums I could find to no avail. My home life was in shambles, and my work life wasn’t far behind.

Trying to get a grip, I splashed water on my face. I looked at the door, then down at the floor. A small shadow slowly crept up, filling the light-filled gap with darkness.

In the silence of my home, the only sound I could hear was a beat. My heart pounded as if it might leap out of my chest. Then the scratching started—slow, taunting, each swipe drawing closer to the door.

The sound of claws methodically peeling through the wood sent shivers down my spine.

“Stop, Marlon!” I yelled, watching the shadow under the door slowly back away, but not fade.

Grabbing a towel off the rack, I dried my still-wet face. This was not the time to lose my cool. I’d done this a hundred times; tonight would be no different. Giving myself what should’ve been an unnecessary pep talk only made me feel more uneasy.

Looking at the floor again was an obvious mistake. The shadow paced back and forth in front of the door, and in the silence of my apartment, I could hear his panting. Every step he took seemed to vibrate through the bathroom. That pep talk felt more useless than ever. I turned my gaze to the toilet.

I realized I hadn’t used the bathroom since I’d come in. Maybe that could ease the tension and help me settle down for bed. Tomorrow was a big day, and I had to get some rest. Glancing at my watch, it showed 22:45.

Standing in front of the toilet, I tried to relieve myself, knowing full well there was nothing to relieve. I was just going through the motions. Shaking my head, I realized my procrastination was getting the better of me.

Zipping up my pants and turning back to the sink, it felt like déjà vu. Once again, I was ready to splash my face with water. Glancing at the floor, the shadow was gone. Only the hallway light shone through the gap.

With a gulp for reassurance, I grabbed the door handle and opened it. The door slammed into the doorstop and bounced back, almost hitting me. I quickly grabbed it and peered out to see if the coast was clear.

My bedroom door was open, and the lights were still on as I had left them. I saw no sign of Marlon, so I quietly tiptoed to my room. As soon as I felt the carpet under my feet, I slammed the door shut and heard his paws skidding across the hardwood, racing toward my door.

Almost simultaneously, Marlon threw his body against the door just as I locked it and leaned against it for extra defense. The next thud pushed me off the door momentarily, and I scrambled back to brace myself against it.

Another thud hit the door, but this time it only moved me an inch or two. My feet felt as if they were rooted to the carpet.

“That’s it, Marlon! I’m not playing with you—go to bed!” I yelled, trying to put some authority in my voice, sliding my hand back on the door.

That was the most I dared to do, fearing to truly invoke his wrath. Marlon slowly paced outside the door. His tail tapped the door with every pass he made. I pressed my back against the door, ready for the next impact, but it never came.

I slowly backed away from the door, not letting it out of my sight as I made my way to the bed. My heart raced, and I knew that wasn’t going to help me sleep. Sliding into bed, I pulled the covers up and adjusted my pillows. If I didn’t know my age, I’d think I was a kid still afraid of the boogeyman.

Except I’m not a child. The boogeyman is real and outside my door, in the form of my best friend trying to get inside me. Slapping myself back into reality seemed like the only thing left to do, but my hands refused to move from gripping the covers.

Closing my eyes, I tried to calm myself. I envisioned my presentation in the morning to the partners. I’d been rehearsing it all week, practicing the Q&A section. Now, I just needed some rest.

As I stood in front of the partners and other associates, speaking, a weird feeling crept over me, like something was wrong. All eyes were on me, unblinking. Silence filled the room, except for my voice. I glanced at Rob, our newest assistant, and instantly sensed something was off.

Rob wasn’t using his cellphone. That thing is usually glued to his palm. He’s a junior associate, yet he acts as if he’s already made partner, always busy with his phone, every call so important. But now, he gave me the attention he usually reserved for his phone, and it sent chills up my spine.

That’s when I noticed the sweat dripping off him. His shirt was soaked, the wet spot visible through his jacket. They all were sweating as if trapped in a sauna, every single one of them. It looked like they’d just played full-court basketball in their suits and come straight to work. Not one of them wiped their brow, fanned themselves, or even took a sip of water.

Even Suzanne, our meeting stenographer, sat in her seat in the corner, her hands over the typewriter without hitting a key, sweating, her eyes locked on me like a torpedo in the water. Frazzled by the bizarre scene, I started to stutter and looked toward the exit.

Elliot Marcus, one of our senior partners, stood straight up from his chair. It flew back, crashing into the office wall with a thud, leaving an imprint as it slowly rolled away. He was always the gym rat of the office, an Armenian refugee from the circus, we used to joke at the coffee pot.

He strutted around the office, showing off his muscles, stacking chairs, lifting them, or asking for critiques on his poses. In the courtroom, his stature matched his wits and law knowledge. Elliot was a force to be reckoned with, and now he was walking right toward me, with that blank stare in his eyes that somehow felt menacing.

I don’t know why—I’m not usually like this—but I grabbed the first thing I could touch and hurled it at him. It happened to be another empty chair at the table. Without even flinching, the chair hit him square in the face. Blood began to ooze from his nose, and that scared me even more than him not stopping, even more than the room’s continued staring and sweating.

The blood was as black as obsidian. I bolted for the door, keeping it in my peripheral vision. Elliot leaped across the table like a gazelle clearing a fence. The force knocked me against the wall, and he pinned me there.

That’s when I saw it. Everything before made sense. My initial worry turned into genuine fear. My worst nightmare had left my home and was now in the world. Worse than that—it was at my job, inside my coworkers.

Inside the lens of Elliot’s eye was that white ring that wasn’t a ring. It was more like a silver or very opaque tiny worm. I’d never gotten close enough to examine it in detail, but I knew what was coming next, and I desperately tried to avoid it. Elliot’s hands felt like iron clamps, locking me against the wall.

I jerked my head back and forth, refusing to stare into his face, looking for anything to grab that might free me before the inevitable. His sweaty hands felt gross—like grabbing a toad, rough but slimy. Elliot released my right hand and immediately grabbed my throat, straightening my face and choking me.

That blank stare in his eyes and the little worm floating around in there locked me in terror. Elliot’s mouth began to open, his jaw unlocking. I couldn’t scream because I could barely breathe with his hands around my neck.

Then that ring, that worm, or parasite floated to the bottom of his lens almost lifeless. Six long, white, almost luminescent tentacles emerged from Elliot’s mouth, slowly reaching for my face. The more I fought, the tighter his grip became. I had to fight—I couldn’t let this thing get me like this.

I used my free hand and bashed Elliot’s face repeatedly to no avail. Just before it latched onto my face, I used my last bit of strength and let out a scream.

Jumping up in my bed, I realized I must’ve dozed off. My sheets and clothes were soaked. I looked at the clock on my nightstand; it read 2:45. I had to get up and try to dry off. I still needed to get back to sleep. Maybe some tea would settle my mind, but looking at my door, I almost immediately changed my mind.

Sitting in the darkness with a million thoughts flying through my brain, I couldn’t help but think about when this all started—last weekend. It seemed like a normal Saturday. Marlon and I went to the dog park. But that day, I just had an eerie feeling inside.

The dog park on Saturdays was usually bustling. Marlon almost always had a handful of playmates. I was actually shocked that Buster and Bob weren’t there. They were dog park regulars. If I couldn’t expect to see anyone else, I knew I’d see Bob. But last Saturday, the park was completely empty.

Marlon also seemed apprehensive about going in at first. I figured it was because he’d be stuck playing fetch with me. Looking back, I wish I’d picked up on his hesitation and gone with my first instinct to head back home. But we pushed on, and after a little leash fight, we were through the gates and into the park.

As soon as I unhooked him, Marlon took off across the field and into the tree line. There was a small rustle in the bushes, and Marlon let out a cry I’d never heard from him before. He retreated from the bushes by the time I reached him. At first, I thought it was maybe a squirrel or worse—a skunk. Checking him thoroughly and sniffing him, it didn’t seem to be either. I shrugged it off as something that just spooked him.

We left shortly after since he didn’t seem to want to play anymore. All his attention was on the bushes he’d come out of, as if in a trance. The ball flew by him, and he didn’t even budge. After trying a few more times, I gave up.

The rest of the day seemed fine. I went to work and checked on him using my indoor cameras as I usually do. It had rained before I left for work, and I forgot to lock his doggie door. I watched him run around in the backyard like a puppy, knowing my furniture would be soaked once he came in.

Back at work, I thought nothing more of it. But my curiosity got the best of me, and I’m glad it did. Looking back at my backyard camera, wanting to enjoy him frolicking around, I noticed Marlon was no longer leaping or chasing squirrels. He just stood there as if in a daze.

Marlon’s body began to shake violently, and then he started convulsing. It looked as if some invisible force was performing CPR on him. Something was coming out of him, though I couldn’t tell if he was forcing it out or if it was forcing itself out. Then the tentacles began to latch onto the ground.

Black balls spewed from his mouth, accompanied by a white liquid. The balls formed a fist-sized mound among the tentacles. As violently as the tentacles emerged, they retracted back in. Marlon just collapsed, and as I got up to run home, something caught my eye, and I sat back down.

The black balls began to move, and the mound seemed to shake. Luminescent worms cracked out of their shells and started wriggling around my yard. They seemed to examine Marlon at first, wriggling over and around him. He didn’t move or attack them. Then they started to spread throughout the yard.

I jumped out of my seat and ran out of the office. By the time I got home, Marlon greeted me at the door like he normally did. The mound of balls was nowhere to be found, along with the worms in my backyard. Rushing to my office to rewatch the video, trying to see what happened while I was driving home, I was left with more questions than answers.

The worms had just disappeared into the ground, the mound dissolving in the rain. No sign of a shell or husk. I went back outside to check for holes in the ground where I thought the worms had vanished. My lawn looked just as I’d left it. Marlon stood by my side, excited as usual, as if the worms hadn’t come out of him.

It wasn’t until the third day that I noticed the change. Marlon couldn’t seem to drink enough water. His water fountain was refilled three times that day, and the way he panted, I felt like he’d drink more if he could. Instead, he just lay around, moving from spot to spot.

Now, I’m sure all of you have done the same thing I did: Googled the symptoms to figure out what was going on. If it were just a horseshoe worm, I’d have cured my beloved friend already. But this parasite is sentient and not of this world.

It was the fourth night that convinced me and left me in such a paranoid state. Marlon’s whimpering made me cave on something I’d never done before: I let him into my bed, figuring a good cuddle would fix him right up.

In the middle of my sleep, I was slowly awoken by drops of water on my face. In my blur between wake and sleep, I didn’t fully register what was happening. Marlon was standing over me, drooling profusely. From his mouth, tentacles stretched toward me.

Coming to my senses as they reached about an inch from my face, I reacted without thinking, sending Marlon, all 120 pounds of him, crashing into my side table. I’d never gotten out of bed so fast and found the light switch on the first attempt in my life. By the time the lights came on, I caught a glimpse of those tendrils retracting into Marlon’s mouth.

The way he turned and growled at me sent chills up my spine. I immediately reached over to my other nightstand and pulled out my gun, aiming it at Marlon, taking it off safety, and cocking one in the chamber. It felt like I was in the wild against a savage beast. We were deadlocked, each of us waiting to see the other’s reaction.

Marlon’s stance relaxed, and he lowered his head, turning away from me and walking out of the room. I only moved to keep the barrel of my .45 trained on him. Once he was out of sight, I clicked the safety back on and placed the gun on my nightstand.

I got out of bed quickly and slammed my door shut. Finally, I could breathe a sigh of relief and try to comprehend what had just happened. It all felt surreal—until I heard his footsteps outside the door.

That snapped me back to the present, and once again, I was in my room, contemplating what to do. Marlon was outside my door, pacing back and forth.

The Jollies

I remember when I was younger, watching the police take my neighbor out in front of her kids. I didn’t quite understand why at the time. All my heart felt was hate for the police as I watched my friends crying and making a scene in front of their house. It seemed like something out of a movie at the time.

Men in black suits and aviator shades talked amongst themselves in her driveway. The size of his cellphone astonished me at the time; it was maybe the second one I had ever seen.

Ms. Harrisburg was the nicest person I had ever met. She would have the sweetest peach cobblers every Sunday after church. I’d had sleepovers at their house. My first kiss came from Suzy Harrisburg, right under the apple tree. We carved our names into it that day.

Ms. Harrisburg had ten children, and all were wonderful people. I couldn’t imagine what she could have done to cause that to happen to her. My mind instantly thought it was some sort of mistake. She and my mother would be laughing about it over gin rummy later tonight.

When our doorbell rang a few hours later, I jumped up and ran to it, but my parents were already there. I slowly crept down the stairs, expecting to see Ms. Harrisburg. It was Johnny Harrisburg, though, the eldest of the bunch and the captain of the ship, as I called him.

Johnny looked blue in the face, as if someone had told him Yella was dead. He walked inside like the life had been drained out of him. Once our eyes connected, mine mistakenly found my mother’s, and hers said, “Get to your room right now.” I knew that look all too well. I turned and pretended to go up the steps. My feet turned into feathers when it was time to creep back down the steps.

From the banister, it was hard to hear what Johnny was saying. I pressed my body against the wall like a fly on the wall, inching closer to the kitchen as if I were a marine deep in enemy territory. My mother was handing him a tissue to wipe his face. I cleared my eyes to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on me, because Johnny couldn’t be crying; he was the toughest kid in town.

“They just took her and haven’t told us anything,” Johnny said. “My sisters are so scared, and I’m not sure what to do.”

“Well, don’t you worry. I’m sure it’s some kind of mix-up. Your mom will be home by tonight, and you guys will be laughing about it. As for dinner tonight, I’ll come over and make you guys dinner. I’m sure your mother will be happy to have food ready when she comes home.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Thompson. You don’t know what this means to us. I’ll head home and start cleaning up and getting the kitchen ready for you. I’m sure my sisters will help in any way they can,” Johnny said, getting up from the table with a smile and a look of relief in his eyes.

My mom stood up to give him a hug and instantly noticed me. Her cold stare sent a chill up my spine. I quickly crept back and up the stairs before Johnny could see I was eavesdropping. Once he left, my mother called me down using my full name. That’s when I knew how deep in trouble I was.

With the most innocent voice I could muster, I slinked down the steps and into the kitchen. Her eyes were stern but reflected worry. This wasn’t as simple as she had told Johnny, and it showed.

“You heard what happened, so go clean up and help me carry some things to take over to the Harrisburg house. We’ll be eating dinner there. I’ll call your father and let him know,” my mother said.

Without hesitation, my feet were at the steps, heading toward the bathroom. My mother was the nicer of my parents but still not someone to upset. Once my full name was called, I knew it would be pins and needles for me the rest of the night.

Detective Ramos sat across from me with a calm demeanor. A thick yellow folder sat between us that he hadn’t opened yet. He offered me takeout options and drinks from the vending machine, all while avoiding my questions and passively telling me to calm down.

We’d known each other since junior high. In our little town, everybody knew everybody. His wife visited my shop weekly, and his kids loved my cakes and treats. All my reminiscing and pleading fell on deaf ears, though. We both knew why I was here, but I still had to play my innocent role.

At this point, it was the only way I would get out and get back to my jollies. His eyes burned through me, searching for something. The man sitting across from me was no longer my old friend. He was Detective Arthur Ramos, the iron ass of Springs Valley Police Department.

Arthur played by the rules and went by the book. He didn’t cut corners and never turned a blind eye. It was one of his honorable qualities, but at this moment, I wished it wasn’t him. His face said it all—he was feeling the same. Of all the criminals in town, it should have been anyone but me.

“Laura, I can help you if you help me,” Ramos said, finally breaking the silence. “Think of your kids and what they’ll go through.”

“I’ve been here for over an hour, haven’t been told what I’m being charged with or why I was taken out of my house on a Sunday afternoon. Do I need to get a lawyer, Arthur?”

“You might need one to get out of this.”

The door to the interview room opened, and a man I’d never seen before walked in. His tightly knit black suit told me he was a federal agent. This had gotten bigger than just the county. I began to feel uneasy in my chair as he walked over to the table with a fresh Coke in his hand.

“Mrs. Harrisburg, I’m Special Agent Davidson, and I’ve been assigned to your case. I apologize for keeping you waiting. I asked the good detective here not to say or do anything until I could address you first. Are you thirsty?”

“No. I’m upset and annoyed that I’ve been dragged away from my family like a criminal and not told why. I have rights, just like every other citizen in this country.”

Agent Davidson acknowledged my pleas and assured me that if it was a mix-up, I would be home with my kids soon enough. He slid over the folder Arthur had in front of him and opened it up. After waiting all this time, when I saw what it contained, my stomach began to churn.

He unclipped one picture from the stack and slid it in front of me very slowly. I could feel his eyes watching me as it came to my side of the table.

“Is this about Daniel?! I haven’t seen him in years. I have nothing to do with that scumbag. If this is what all this is about, I couldn’t tell you anything more than that he left without a word when our son was five.” Holding my composure, I looked stone-faced at both of them.

The anger I held for him was genuine, and I could feel my blood boiling just looking at his face after so many years. The picture was of him in his younger years. That smirk on his face made me sick to see again. Of all my children’s fathers, I hated him the most.

I was about thirteen the first time my parents took me to the fair. It was the most marvelous thing I’d ever seen. My father and I went on every ride while my mother looked on with disapproval. She always hated me, and I never understood why. My father, though, gave me all the love I could ever ask for. Papa was my best friend and guardian from my mother’s cruel ways.

The memory almost seems like it was yesterday, even though it happened over twenty years ago. I could still feel the shiny penny in my hand that my father gave me to go into the gypsy’s tent.

As I walked up, it seemed as if the eye designed on the top of her cart looked through my soul. It creeped me out, but I couldn’t stop myself from walking toward it. My knees felt weak the closer I got to the tent, and my heart pounded as if it would come out of my chest. Looking back at my dad, his face gave me the courage to go on.

Entering the tent, the smell of incense hit my nose. It pulled me in toward this strange woman sitting behind a crystal ball. Her smile made my stomach churn, and I wanted to turn around.

“Come, child, don’t be afraid. I know what you want to know. No one will hurt you in here. Sit, child,” she said as she smoked from a chrome cigarette holder.

I did as she asked and sat down. The chair was much higher than me, and it took a hop to get seated. She held her hand out for mine, and I cautiously obliged. Her fingers were soft yet calloused. I could feel the sharpness of her nails as she ran them over my palm.

“Hmmmm, I see a very prosperous and misfortunate future for you. A blessing of a multitude of children will befall you, but death will come to some. Your love life will be filled with variety, passion, and heartbreak. Many lovers will fill your bed over the years to come. Sadly, though, I see you will end up in a prison or mental institution. Your future looks as promising as it does dark. Hold on to your morals and kind nature. The path you will walk is going to be tainted by the unfortunate but necessary decisions you will have to make.”

An Ambiguous Mistress

She comes like a thief in the night
To recapture my soul
A friend from old with stories untold
She whispers in my ear
No one has to know
But I know when they look in my eyes
All my lies become told
My love for her never gets old
She's been with me through thick and thin

She comes in many forms,
Depending on how I feel for the night
She's the main reason of my great plight
Because of her I lost my true love
And she's back to take my new love
Why did I let her in,  this temptress of fate
She waits up for me even when it's late

Before I get off of work she calls my soul
Tells me she's waiting at my home
She sits by my table and watches me write
Quiet as a mouse until I feel right
plots she fills my head with are grandeur
I know she's only here to take my soul

I have a woman that means my world
This mistress causes me to put her on hold
She doesn't want money or my name
All she wants is cold ice and a twirl
She's cost me so much and still wants more
I gotta let her go,  I have to leave her alone
She always knows when im alone
She always knows when im home
She knows I'll always pick up the phone
Grab her by the neck and enjoy her whole

Who can I tell;  that doesn't know
She's back again and I'm sinking in
Drowning in her care
Running from despair
Craving a love that's so near
Trying to hold on to a woman that's so dear
While entertaining the devil's tears
Can I win or will I fail?
My goals have been so clear
Now she's back to refract the light
All of this on my great plight

Leave it here

I can't say it too your face
So ill just leave it here
I cant stomach the words
Or wanna see the pain
In your eyes
So ill just leave it here

I got pain in my heart
It brings me down
Way past the ground
I've smoked and not heard a sound
I'm back to buying product and gin
Hunting pyt's only for the win
Take them out for a spin
Give them a little din
Then it's my turn to dig in
Fill their holes and corrupt their souls

Women circle my life
Fill it with smiles and strife
Ive been down and living life
A new emotional rollercoaster
Every week and other month
I can't say it out loud
So ill just leave it here

My loves taken for granted
My funds get used with no reprieve
who listens when i grieve
A clowns suicide rants
Entertain the masses
And they applaud his cries

Im ashamed to say
How many matching tats I got
With woman ive been put on perma block
waking to find your stocks dropped
I cant even call them to talk about my day
My loves been denied and turned away

We flew to a foreign island
Just to argue on the beach
Coronas and weed just in between
Took pictures with smiles
Just too argue about making it look real
Yet it wasn't that day my heart took sail
The wind blew when cabin doors closed
I got tired of playing house
We didn't even sit on the same side
Me and the flight attendants
laughed and joked just too mask my hurt

Every holiday was a new plan
From this house to that one
We both miles on the road
Just to feel each others warm embrace
I wrote insecurities and put it to the public
For the public feelings you made me show
Can you still taste the bitterness
That comes in between the lines?
I'm still confused and trying to figure it out
I showed you game and you ran it on me
The snow globe shattered and fell
The porcelain house cracked in half
The tsunami of water rippled time
The snow left my heart cold
I want too hold your neck
And do things that won't be told

My latest love proclaims her love
Yet it's never enough to keep her here
Every wrong word and she's out the door
My heart can't bear it anymore
Such pain from the one i adore

Where is the love when i need it
When will they see me for who i am
Realize my loves not a sham
This isn't a Nigerian scam
Im writing in my journals like stan
Ready to just say fuck the plan
This will be my last stand
All these emotions i can't understand

The precipice of love

Three years you held him
I sat in jail with no mail
Locked down on the tier with no bail
Up the river without a sail
Rethinking, overthinking, 
replaying, regretting
The decisions I made
Only to have you back
For over a year
Every other night we shed tears
You threatened to throw
My dog off the banister
Kick him down the stairs
Exploiting all my parenting fears

I waited years and held out hope
Took my life down a slippery slope
Drank until I made myself broke
Couldn't eat but had time to smoke
I mixed drugs and depression
In the hopes of completion
Combining my body, mind and soul
The mending of my heart never came
My books got finished
Pages were read in anticipation

Only too find a black queen
That I thought deserved my heart

We drove over twelve hours
just to meet your parents
Wasted your gas and time
You shared all your insecurities
Just too dump me in Birmingham
On the curb because you loved me
We watched heat
And you told me not to live like that
How you turn and do that?

I had a girl who subbed to my blog
Bought my books and got them signed
We use to argue about
her never getting mentioned
how she was real compared to my stories
The love she gave was genuine
Im sure she didn't expect
Her name to come up like this

I told her bring some juice
I got the sin enough for too
Even when you exclude me
This shouldn't be nothing new
Ive been so lonely
Ive forgotten my worth
Once or twice
Ive been so horny
Ive forgotten my morals
Two times to many

Flicking and clicking

Every tone brings me sorrow
I know everytime it won't be you
Here we are again
Left to the others
Cause you can't look me in the eyes
My phone stays ready to die
Yet I'm awaiting your call
I keep setting myself up for the fall
I'm still waiting for a call
Look at the obsession
Can you feel me hurt
Did you hear my heart break
Over the bed you were rocking

Alone in my room
The clock ticks away
Every notification gives me false hope
Your miles away thinking about another
While I'm here stuck on you
Just feeling so blue
Trying to accept we're through
All because I can't provide for you

Another one taken by
A man richer than me
With perverted intentions
When the love got lost
You forgot to mention
Tell me those true words
So I can stop looking at the phone

The anxiety makes me sick
My sleep is never enough
The gym brings no reprieve
I'm attached to my phone
For all the wrong reasons
I wanna hear the truth
Tell me some more lies
Anything to stop my sighs

Clicking and flicking
The phone on and off
Every message ain't the right one
Every notification brings
Me too the depths of despair
This depression has be pulling my hair
Acting out in public
And waiting for someone
to dare Cross that line
so the bomb can explode this time.

Becoming nothing

You laid in my arms
Filled my mind with sweet dreams
False hopes and joys to never be
Played on my emotions
exposing my vulnerability
Only to run and hide

Take away the pain this time
Take away the lies
Every time you look into my eyes
Your hurting but I'm hurting too
Encased in others loving embrace
Trying to fill the void
Holding back the tears
Forcing smiles from ear to ear

Give back the love you stole
Make my heart whole once more
Was it not you
Who i did adore
I never lied,  i never broke ties
Yet it wasn't enough to stop the lies

Month after month we fight whats inside
The dream was to be side by side
I bought it and more
Even the child you never bore

I was convinced I was different
I was convinced I was special
To find out I was nothing but a pawn
The only one who wanted you
To have everything you wanted
The only one who couldn't afford to do it
The pauper played for a fool
All in the name of love.