Wi-Fi operator

Can you fix my connection?
My set up must not be right
Can you come by
And check my line

YouTube works Netflix works
Yet my letters go unanswered
I wrote the addresses perfect
Sent them at the right time
Gmail must be glitching
This computer needs fixing
These emails aren't sticking

There must be something
Wrong with my line
I've called you a thousand times
You got my service request
Only you can fix this
It can't be from my end
I can use every other program
Please respond its dire this time

The emails say sent
Yet I've not gotten a response
I must need a new I.T. guy
Dear Wi-Fi operator
Please come fix my line
I really need you this time

Lying to myself

Everything isn't just peachy
I'm feeling with my mind
It's like my own personal purgatory
I've been battling demons
Watching twitch to get away

Everybody thinks I'm in paradise
Not realizing I'm drowning at the beach
I still don't have the power
To answer the phone for my father
I'm still holding the grudge from '89

The world's colder then you know
Even though it revolves around the sun

longing for a love

I no longer possess

Yearning for the success

I so desperately desire

My demons visit me nightly

I was carrying dead weight

Like pall bearers at the funeral

Found God and grew impatient

With the blessings he was giving me

Release the fear or let it consume you

The what if monster

Haunts me every day

Testing me from the shadows

Like the devil did Jesus on the mountain

I've started taking advice

Ignoring what my pride says

Yet it doesn't sit right with me

This year I've felt out of place

Paranoia and stress

Have consumed me

My father left my mother

I promised myself 

I would never repeat him

So I find myself

A bachelor at 27

Still chasing shirts

Cause my heart still hurts

Soon you'll understand

I kept saying you deserve better
Now those words haunt me
Like the last drops in a Hennessey bottle
That's gripped in my hand
Three in the morning by myself

I've made more tears
Fall done your face
Then I should have
My conscience be troubling me

A different girl every week
Since I walked out your front door
I was too young and immature
To understand the consequences
Of my actions in hindsight

You only wanted better for me
I thought you wanted to change me
Pull me away from the streets
That I loved so much

I found myself passed out
On the steering wheel
With nothing but glass
All over my lap and the floor
Not realizing how much
Drugs and alcohol ruled my life
Until the cuffs gripped my wrist

Another felony added to my rapsheet
Now I'm not the man You once knew
I took your advice
followed my dreams
Got a fan base
Buried myself in my notebooks

Now I'm wondering
Could it of been different
If I had just listened
I dream about you
Every night in a week
Waking up in cold sweat
In a dark room alone

It broke my heart to see you go
Even though it was all my decision
I slammed the door
On my own foot Once again
Soon we'll understand
The Lord's master plan