Tears of a man

Time and time again
I open my heart
To allow you
To pull it out
Throw it on the floor
Shattering it
Into a million pieces

I was conceived
From a woman's love
Yet I only feel their scorn
Like a song on repeat
I'm hurt over and over again
When will it end
Are the tears
Down my cheek
Not enough to mend
A broken heart
Are the words
Flowing from my mouth
Not true enough
To make you stay

Day after day
The Sun rises and sets
At some point even
It collides with
The moon in the sky
Yet here I sit
Forever alone
With only misery to mourn

Alas I cry
One day I'll be whole
One day I'll have the world
That stuffed me
So far downThis dark hole
These woman will pay
They will rue the day
Until then though
On my knee's I pray
For a better day

There must be another way
There must be a better way
From all this pain
I have but
One thing to say
These woman will pay

Dracula's bride

I've waited my
Whole life for a girl like you
When I finally found you
I was terrified
Now there you go
Out my life
Like the drugs and alcohol

Kitty Kat you were
All I ever wanted
I was just so scared of you
It freaked me out
That I could care
About someone
Like the way I do you
Your eyes had me mesmerized
Mixed with your
Soft skin and thighs
I didn't know what
I was getting into to

I just knew
I had to get away from you
Now I'm sweating in my sleep
Mumbling this mantra
Til death to us part
I do yes I do
What is this spell
You put on me

I thought
I was too young to settle down
I just wanted to rehearse
Making babies and playing house
You had more grown plans though
Now I'm here all alone
Wishing you had bite
My neck and gave me
The will to not be weak

Katherine's dilemma flashes
Through my mind
One word at a time
Night walkers and zombies
Are the only friends of mine
Picture them standing
In a line behind me
Hanging on to
The pastors every word
Gals and ghouls
Sitting in the pews
All watching you
Waiting for your response
Will you be Dracula's bride
Or will we forever walk
This earth alone

Between categories and definitions

Dreams of Americana
Stars and my plight
Forced gratitude
Mixed with money schemes
Have turned
Me into a fiend

What I use to be
Can't be what I am
In the present or future
Even the shadow
That follows you
Changes throughout the day
So how could
Your mind state not
Every time
You look at your watch
Even the Times changed up

I'm trapped in my mind
It's starting to feel like it's a purgatory
Write this or write like that
Focus on one genre
No-one successful
Ever changed their style like you
Whispers of disapproval
Fill my life
Tying to stop
my dreams and control me

I'm fighting with demons
That are hotter then
Asphalt in NYC during the summer time
If I was Cameron from
Paid in full
I would of done the same thing
Caved to the money and bling
Cause Harlem got me

I'm wasting away in my room
Face stuck on a computer screen
Typing a mile a minute
Trying to cook up
A Grammy or
New York Times best seller
A Naidni's journey
Is way over due
But still on its way

The .45 I bought in September
When you left me
Hasn't seen the light of day
Since Frank died
I'm trapped between
Who I should be
And who I want to be
I'm black yet
I don't act hard
I'm reading books
And expanding my vocabulary
How could I define myself
When they call me an oreo
What category do
I fall under
When it's all
Said and done

Bad ideas

It's filled with love
It's filled with pain
I was suppose too
have it figured out
By now

Home is where
The heart is though
My mother cries
Wishing I was back
I love her to death
Yet I have to
Stand on my own feet
Learn how to be a man
On my own

Never going back
Isn't a bad idea
I keep hearing
From people who
Want me to stay
And entertain
I bring something
Different to their mundane
Day to day

This isn't my home though
How could it be wrong
To want to go back
I miss hearing
People that sound Like me
Hate seeing these strange looks
Like I'm an animal in the zoo
Thoughts of being Homeward bound
Dance in my head
Especially when I look
At who's next to me
In bed

I need to wake up
Before I don't wake up
Glenn keeps telling me
Stay faithful to my rehab
Since now a days
I'm speeding with my
My eyes closed
Don't really know
where I'm headed
These pills have a hold on me
I just can't let go
I thought I had it under control
Writing this now
I'm metaphorically
Swallowing my pride
And admitting I have a problem

I love you mom
I'm sorry
My eyes
Are redder then
The devils dick
Over time
I've gotten weaker
Been beaten down
By my regrets
But it's time
For me to step up
And be a man
with my problems
But it's a new day
And I'm happy to say
Good morning

The pill for heartbreak

It lies in
the Bane vs Batman
Complex
Give in to the drugs
Or fight everyday

How can I kiss
My mother goodbye
When I'm prepared to die
Standing atop a building
Ready to spread
my wings and fly
Mentally debating
Heaven and Hell
Avoiding all my other problems
With sleep deprivation

I can only think
Of one thing
to tell the children
Make sure
You love yourself
Don't take this
Life for granted
Just seek
Your own salvation
Like a real og told me
Marry the game
But never have a kid with it

As I fall to the ground
I realized I ain't write enough
Von Gogh finished
900 plus paintings
Before he killed himself
I'm so caught up
On this planet earth
And avoiding incarceration
I've let my passion slip
God demands the truth
Not only to him
But from yourself
Are any of us
Up for that challenge

Xanex and Molly
Suppose to set us free
Look at the
Miss education of our children
Forging through
This lost nation
Bragging about gang initiations
Hate slurs spew out their mouths
While they Hailing Hitler
Trying to bring the 88 back

Lost loves and heart pains
Have caused use to seek
A getaway
Codeine and lean
Get mixed in your cup
All your problems go away
That's the dream they sell you
Standing on the corners alone
With the pills for your heartbreak
Open your eyes
Step out the matrix
Set yourself free
You can either grow
To be the new Bane
Or accept your pain
And be a better Batman

Past life foreclosure

The night of my life
Turned into a fight
For my life
The three knocks
On my window
Awoke me from my dreams
Are you ok?
He asked
Shining his flash light in my eyes
I don't know I replied
Picking my head off the steering wheel
Glass shards and the air bag
Was all I could feel

I just published a book
I can't afford to go to jail
How can I even post bail
I heard it is
The closest thing to Hell
The windshield shards in my lap
dropped on the floor
Like hail from the sky
You been drinking tonight
He asked me
shining the flashlight
In my eyes

I was feeling myself
Riding through my city
Whipping it to the left
Whipping it to the right
On my way too my latest interest
She been waiting for me
To get back to the city
For too long
Now I'm gonna give her
The attention she been wanting
My fantasy of handcuffs
Turned into a real life nightmare
Sitting in the backseat
Watching them contemplate my fate

Anywhere but there
I pleaded from the back seat
Just beat me up
And leave me in the street
I've learned my lesson
Licking the wounds
From my open scars
Begging not to be
Put behind those bars
That will seal my fate
This is just too much on my plate

This new forced sobriety
Got me running miles
Asking my dog
How we get back home
I'm back in the gym now
It's won't take to long
Some getting use too
Remembering to work my legs too

Two Jewish lawyers
Shaking my hand
Before the judge starts trial
Reviewing all the things
I've done with my life
Casually asking my lawyer
How's his wife
As he weighs my sentence
Out for the courtroom
My knees get weak
My throat never been so dry
My lawyer pats
Me on my back
And says we'll be fine
Looking in his eyes
I know it's all a lie
I'm about to get
Fried alive

Naive

I wrote practice for you
Knowing you would never see it
I've sent up
A heathens prayer for you
All my words
Fall on deaf ears
I've been up rather late
To many nights
Searching my mind
Replaying my words
Retracing steps in my past

All in hopes of seeing you again
In my mind it's gonna happen
Dreams must turn to reality
My patience must pay off
Over a hundred poems
And counting all dedicated to you
My Sun shine that sleeps in the east

Maybe it's all in my head
I'm too naive
For my own good
Yet my heart burns for your love
My brain aches from my mistakes
I've been with others
To no avail
Nothing but one night stands
Followed by dead ends
Hurt girls and miles on the road
With my luck
I'll find you on a velvet morning
Years too late to make things right

When our stars align
I'll know I'm yours and
You'll be mines
With no questions asked
Cause now your
a stranger in my phone book
The winters almost through
Maybe summer will warm us up
Getting us too snap out of it
Our pride and miscommunication
Will ruin the flame of love
We once had that flourished

A poem to my kitty Kat
Was read by more redditors
Then you will ever know
Times like this I feel so naive
That you will give me
The second and final chance
How could I give
This attention to someone else
Am I asking for too much
Since I've messed up
one to many times
Which is what I'm afraid of