Monday, November 30, 2015

Reality vs illusion

I've been up for 37 hours
I'm in the bathroom
Looking myself in the mirror
So I figured I'll share this

I'm battling demons
On Monday I think of you
By Tuesday I'm sick of you
On Wednesday I'm half way
Through with this week's story
By Thursday I'm ready to quit
My grandmother
Says pressure bust pipes
Friday morning I forgot
To tell you I work between
Edit it or finish it
I'm trying to scratch the whole project

Your voice flows through the wind
Im running over but I guess
I was running late
I'm driving and tagging
Uploading things to Google
I gotta get to work
Walking the dog took
Longer then it should
Swerve I could of just crashed
Where did that dude
get his license
Thank God it's all green lights

The homeboy cuzzo just shared my post.
His fans are like mines and vice versa
Networking at its finest
Damn I forgot to mail
The kite to jail
Gotta focus while I'm driving in the car
It's a red light now
A Bum runs up and says
I got four kids and no wife
Give me a dollar to wipe your car
I don't got time to hear your problems
Green light
I'll never have to see your shitty life again

I'm just playing lights don't turn that fast
I threw him a five and some change too
The bucket was dingy
The water some color between
Black and Brown
The sponge was
Crumbling as wiped
He left my Windows worse
then before but whatever
I just left my house
She made me waffles and eggs
I had a pretty good morning
And I'm not late for work

Friday, November 20, 2015

Prophecy

I met Jehovah
Before I ever
Stepped into a church

I met you
When I had
Given up on love

You said
You need a man
To lead you in worship
Have a relationship
With the Lord

I realized I had lost my way
Went to a place
Darker then Brooklyn basements
To find Christ in my life

It took your touch
To show me the light
Now he speaks to me
Guides my every step

He says if I stay on the path
He'll take me to the top
Like an elevator
I must face my fear first

Failure stands in my way
Like a bull out the cage
But the Lord says
There is a way
To rise above
Any obstacle

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Room 369 the short story

The day I met Anna was the best day of my life. I knew from the moment I met her. That she was the one for me. The girl that I would spend my life with.

I didn't have much money nor many things. Yet I knew in my heart; that I could make her happy. Anna was out of my league though. She was pretty, tall blonde hair with blue eyes.

I'm pushing 5'7 and my hair looks like I just woke up. It's dark black and my bangs cover my eyes. I can't remember the last time I went to the gym. I'm pushing 230 lbs solid. My refrigerator is filled with mostly beer and water.

I work the over night at the Marriotts front desk. Over the past couple years I've seen allot of freaks and geeks. Come in and out the hotel. I always just thought of it as a job though. Once I clocked out I left all the madness behind.

I never believed in ghost and ghouls. They were always just stories to scare little kids to me. That was until I met a demon.  I started to believe then. It was a normal Friday night nothing out the ordinary. One or two drunk guest going in and out the lobby.

I got bored as I normally do and decided to go on my security walk. Which I usually do just to keep myself awake. Our hotel only has five floors so, there isn't much of a walk. I start on the first checking both exit doors then make my way up.

When I got to the second floor landing in the stairwell. I heard a girl yell

"Leave me alone"

Looking down the hall I saw two people running to the other stairwell. At first I wasn't alarmed. Over the years I've seen my share of lover quarrels. Hell I've even had to intervene in one or two. So I thought nothing of it.

By the time I got half way down the hall. A mans voice boomed

"You will be mines forever"

It shook the hotel a little bit. At first I didn't know what to do. I just stood in the hallway watching and waiting. To see if any other guest would come out. If maybe it was just a coincidence. When he yelled it felt as if we had a tremor.

"I said leave me alone"

I heard the girl yell again then foot steps down the hall. They were right above me. Immediately I sprang into action. I ran back down the hall to the stairwell. As if the devil was on my heels. I ran up the flight of steps.

When I got to the third floor. I heard a door slam and someone started banging on the door. I paused for a second to gather myself. This guy sounded big but I was ready. Once I mentioned the cops guys usually calmed down.

When I stepped into the hallway. what I saw was not a simple quarrel. A man stood in front of the door way banging with all his might. Every pound made the hallway shake. He looked liked the normal overgrown muscle jerk, with an anger problem.

"Hey I'm going to have to ask you to leave the hotel"

He turned to me and we made eye contact. His eyes were not normal they burned red with fire. Big boils covered his face. When he opened his mouth. It looked as if he had but one or two good teeth left. I felt repulsed just looking at him. Even before the smell hit me.

The hallway now smelled like rancid milk. The smell came out of no where. It just seem to over take me. I could almost feel it on my skin. It felt cold and slimy like milk would be. It made my stomach turn over.  I stood my ground and repeated myself.

"Stay out of this!" The guy said.

The whole hallway seemed to tremble by his voice. spit shot out of his mouth. It oozed down his face. Making a trail on the floor.

I was disgusted by him and confused. Something in me though pushed me to confront him. I took two steps closer to him and pulled out the hotel phone. I repeated myself again with a more stern voice.

Before I could finish my sentence the creep punched me in my face. Then gave me a left to the chest. I hit the floor and the front desk phone went flying. He picked me up and threw me back down the hallway. I crashed into the wooden table. Smashing it and the vase on top of it.

A few guest came out hearing the commotion.

"Call the police" I yelled to an older gentlemen.

I looked back and the guy was gone. The smell had disappeared. The girl was no longer crying. The hallway was just eerily quiet. A hand grabbed my shoulder and I almost jumped out my skin. It was a guest trying to help me up.

She was an older black lady. maybe in her forty's or early fifty's. A few grey patches stood out in her hair. She looked really concerned for me. An older white lady stood behind her. Around the same age, they probably were traveling together.

"Are you alright young man?"
"Yeah I'm fine. Did you see where that guy went?"
"What guy? You were the only one out here. When we heard the crash."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.Without responding I jumped up and ran to room 369. I knocked on the door. Not to hard but with enough authority to get a response.

"Guest services. I've called the police it's safe to come out!"

No answer.

The guest in the hallway are starting to look at me. A small crowd had formed by the broken table before I knew it. They were all whispering about what happened. What they heard, what they saw. I knocked again this time with more authority.

"Guest services I'm coming in!"

No answer.

I opened the door and entered the darkness. I cut on the light switch and was even more baffled by what I saw. The room was completely empty. It was vacant ready and void of life. Not even a towel was out of place. No sign of a lovers quarrel or even a guest.

I backed out the room that now had about ten people. Looking in from the door way like the paparazzi.

"I'm sorry for the disturbance. You can return to your rooms. If the police have an questions. They will call your room phone."

Slowly they all shuffled back to their rooms. I stood in the hallway and waited for a moment. Running the incident through my head. The eerie silence had set back in. It felt as if someone was watching me. I looked down the corridor and then to the other.

I was alone and confused in the third floor lobby. The phone rang and I ran to find it. It had flew somewhere during the struggle. I found it in front of the laundry shoot door. Answerinh I sounding all out of breath. It was the cops I told them I'll be right down.

As I got on the elevator. I realized I hadn't called my boss. It was  four am he was going to kill me. I called him quick on my cellphone. No answer as expected thankfully. I left a voicemail and assured him everything was under control.

My nose began to bleed as I let the cops in. I told them I didn't need medical help. Grabbed some tissues and plugged it up so to speak. I ran them through what happened. Going through the data base for them. It began to make less sense. No one was suppose to be in that room.

It was vacant ready just like I found it. I took the cops upstairs and showed them the table. They began to question me. Asking me about what I was doing before it happened. Did I drink?

"It's a Friday night maybe you had a couple on this late shift. Something happened you trying to cover it up. filing a false police report is a crime too."

"So I just busted my face and cut up my back to file a false police report!

"I'm not saying all off that. I'm saying the facts don't add up. The only person to see the guy is you. The only person to hear the girl scream is you. Then you telling me there was an earthquake earlier this night. Kid I've been doing this job allot of years. Stay off the drugs. I would arrest you now for wasting my time; but I'm sure your boss will do the right thing."

By the next morning my boss was giving me an ear full. On not one of our cameras did they see a couple. All they saw was me running around the hotel. Then flying into the table. Which that fact alone stopped my boss from firing me. He had to admit something threw me into that table.

His final decision was I take some time off. Clear my head of the situation. After about two weeks I felt I was ready to return back to work. The first night went by with out a hitch.

The second night though, once the hotel lobby quieted down. The phone started to ring. I answered and it was silent. It sounded as if someone was just breathing on the other end. I hung up and shook it off. It's not the first time people have played on the hotel phone.

The next thirty minutes though. The phone didn't stop ringing. Every time i  Answered it was the same thing. Finally I looked at the caller id. Something I should of did twenty minutes prior. Yet I was trying to convince myself it wasn't what I thought.

Looking at it now I wished that I was right. The phone was being called from room 369. I didn't answer it this time, I grabbed up my keys and went upstairs. I took the elevator up to give myself a second. My nerves were starting to twitch.

What was I going to find in the third floor tonight? Would that guy be back again? My face began to hurt thinking about him hitting me again. The elevator stopped on the floor with a thud. I took a deep breath and stepped off.

Walking down the hall I finally stood in front of room 369. My palms were sweaty and my mind was racing. Before I could knock the door slowly swung open. Normally that would of been enough for me to turn and run. Yet I walked in, call it curiosity or stupidity. Once again I was standing in room 369.

This time though a young woman sat on the bed. She smiled and motioned me over. Something felt out of place with her. She wore a plaid shirt with Jean short shorts. No one wears plaid anymore.

Great this is the reason I never get laid. I got a sexy girl taking to me. I'm here critiquing her out dated wardrobe. As if I'm done fashion expert or even into fashion at that. I paused for a minute not sure what to do.

Their

"Are you going to just stand their all night" anna said

I didn't know what to say so I walked over and sat on the king size bed. She was watching nbc to catch a predator. Chris Hanson was just walking out to address the predator.

"So why we're you calling the phone and not saying anything"
" I'm really shy, I didn't know what to say"
"I could understand that, was it you with that guy here a few weeks ago?"
"Yes that was my ex, he doesn't understand it's over"
"He almost broke my arm and got me fired!"
"I'm sry I didn't mean to get you in trouble"

We sat in silence for a minute then I asked her.
"What's your zodiac sign?"

She was a Scorpio and I'm a Sagittarius. We talked none stop for the next two hours. Before I knew it we were kissing and making out. Her bra came off and exposed the supple breast she had. They were about a C cup and perky, with a small pink areola.

It's been so long since I've been with a girl. I was trying not to rush or be too aggressive. it seemed that she was ready for me. Her vagina was so wet and hot, it felt perfect. Anna moaned my name as I entered her.

Before long I was laying next to Anna, holding her in my arms. I drifted to sleep and was awoken by the hotel phone. People were downstairs tying to get in. I jumped up and looked around the room. I was completely by myself. Standing in room 369 once again in the dark and alone. I checked the bathroom but Anna was no where in sight.

I threw my clothes on and ran downstairs. Letting the guest in and apologizing for their wait. I checked them in and got breakfast ready. In the nic of time before my boss walked in. I was at the desk awaiting the guest for the morning, who would check out.

Curiosity began to overwhelm me as i stood at the computer. I looked up Anna's room number. What the screen said again gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach. The room was vacant empty. I checked the records, no-one has stayed in that room for weeks.

How did Anna get in there? Where did she go again? Questions buzzed around my head. I knocked on my boss's office door. He opened it with his cup of coffee still in hand. I questioned him about room 369. He gave me a look for disappointment and shock.

I'm sure he expected this ordeal with the room to be over.

"What's your fascination with this room?"
"I met a girl in it last night, yet when I looked at the records. Their is no one assigned to that room."
"Come in my office for a moment"

My boss sat in his chair behind his desk. I sat in front of his desk and awaited what he had to say. What he told me not only shocked me. It made my stomach feel worse then before.

Ten years ago when he was just a desk attendant like me. Their was a fire at the Marriott. A young girl and her boyfriend were staying in room 369. They were apparently arguing that night. The girl kicked him out and thought he left.

Her boyfriend came back an hour later. He doused the third floor with gasoline. Making sure to especially cover her room door and the walk way in front. The girl was trapped along with a few other guest. They burned alive in their rooms that night.

The boyfriend trying to make a quick escape didn't realize, his shoes were wet. He slipped and feel down the third floor steps. The fall broke his neck killing him that night too. Since then I'm not the only attendant over the years, to see or hear strange things on the third floor.

"I hope that helps, if I was you I would ignore everything I see and hear up there"

I thanked my boss for letting me know. I got up out the chair and walked out his office calmly. Before I knew it I was running down the halls of the Marriott. Within a minute I was standing at room 369. I used my master keyand opened the door. It was empty as before and once again. I was in the dark and alone in room
369.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Prisoners of the heart

These are the words
spoken to the chosen one
From the dark side of the force


Tell me where is your pain
So that I might take it.....
Your guilt does not define you
You define your guilt
If everything you love
In your heart is haunted
Then it is not love
It is a prison
They are not your destiny
They are poison


Seeing a glimpse of my future
Hearing the words of the wise
Will that change my path
Knowing my decisions
Will shape a world
Driven by an obsession
Fueled by love and pain


Longing for the touch
Of one I can't have
Trapped in the depression
Of my mind
Isolating my thoughts
As I do my friends
Lost in a world
Of fake smiles and love

Adrift in a sea of madness
You are but my ray of hope
The Sun that now
Shines in the east
To far too warm me
Yet too familiar not to be
The heat that guides me

Echoes of your words
Haunt me like ghost
That I've wronged
maybe my mind
Is doing the most


For their is a balance to the force
His presence speaks
Louder then most
For he is my host
He washes away
My foresight for dismay
Reminds me that
Glimpses of the future
Could change my path

The future is
What today isn't
What the past wants to be
And decisions you
Have yet to make
Are guides
You choose to
Make or break
The path to your destiny

Fighting demons

Was it the bottle
Or was it always inside
Has my fight just began
Or is this the final lap

Was Hennessey, hose and Remy
What brought out Matt Linart
Was it always in me
Hiding like a ninja
Or did I awaken him
When I cracked open Pandora's box
Realising the demon
That has become my claim to fame

Searching for my muse once again
Looking high and low
To no prevail
Have I just been looking
in the wrong place
Chasing a dragon
That was never really there

Inspiration comes disguised
As schizophrenia
For how long will the
Voices be quiet in my head
As I beg for their return
Starving like an orphaned child
In the middle of a war zone

Craving another hit
Some voice someplace deep within
To speak to me
Tell me if I've won the battle
Have I beat the demon
Or been defeated
in the name of freedom

Sunday, November 1, 2015

The neon black mist the short story

It wasn't until I began my therapy sessions. That I actually understood what had happened to me. All these years I had really feared the darkness. Being alone at night was the worst thing to me. I wished that my parents had believed me. All those years back then. They could of stopped it and kept me safe. I can't be mad at them anymore though. 
  
Looking back if I was them I would of thought the same thing. It's just a phase that will pass. He will get over it soon enough. Every child believes in the boogeyman. If only that was my actual fear. I might of outgrown it or even overcame it. 
  
I was about ten when I first saw the neon black mist. At first the colors sparked my curiosity. I was drawn to it like a mouth to a flame. The electrical sparks drew me in and mesmerized me. I've never seen a mist that looked like that.  
  
It was night time yet it stood out like it's own void. I had seen black holes in my science class. It almost reminded me of one. In the darkness of space it's density stood out. It was the darkness within the darkness. If that makes any sense to you.  
  
My curiosity would get the better of me though. I opened my window to play with it. That was the beginning of my first mistake. Once I opened my window and felt that warmth. It came in and the nightmare began. 
  
The boogeyman; my boogeyman. It now had the power to come and go. At first I couldn't understand it. which now looking back is what took me deeper down the rabbit hole. How something so beautiful could be so horrible.  At first it was amazing. We played and it taught me; All types of new games that I was eager to learn. 
  
That didn't last long though some of the games I didn't like. After awhile I couldn't refuse to play those games anymore. When I started to refuse that's when the nightmare really began. 
  
Even now that I'm a man I don't speak its name. The thought of it alone sends chills down my spine. By it; I meant the creature in the mist. I've drawn countless pictures of him. All never really capturing what he was. Causing me to dig deeper into the art world. Looking for a style or texture that could fully capture its essence. 
  
I live as a recluse now selling my art work to make ends meet. I guess I should thank him for bringing out the artist in me. Yet he doesn't deserve such praise. I pray the day comes when someone finds it. I want them to put him in the deepest darkest cell. That they can find in America. 
  
For all the years of my life it wasted and corrupted. Countless hours of therapy and prescription drugs. The teasing and bullying I endured. All to just be believed and heard. Forcing me to isolate myself and live on the edge of fear. All for nothing but his own enjoyment. 
  
It's face was white and pale. His blue eyes could Pierce your soul. Even in the darkness I could always see them shining through. It seemed as if that was the only human part of him though. I never saw his body through the years. The black cloak it wore usually covered most of its body entirely. 
  
It's hands were always covered with leather gloves. But from his grip I could feel it only had three fingers. On the right of what I considered its hands. From its arm came these electric probes. That was the most mystifying thing about the creature. 
  
Those probes could bring so much joy or pain. They illuminated the darkness and brought sparks to my room. It used waders as shoes. Yet it never tracked mud or anything into my room. I've tried to set up traps. Which have backfired and caused me much pain. It didn't take too kindly to any of them. 
  
It always knew what I had done or what I was trying to do. That's when those electrical probes would hurt. They sparked and sizzled in the night. Roaring as they zapped me over and over again.  
  
I tried to scream but the mist would enter my mouth. Filling me up gagging me to the point I submitted. It felt like a soaked wet ragged being stuffed down my mouth. 
  
The mist that once fascinated me began to terrorize. One time I actually fought it and called out for help. My father and mother came to my aid. When they did it was gone; I was alone in my room panting and sweating. All my pleas for help went  unanswered. My dad looked around the room and even checked outside. No ladder or way to get to my second floor room was found. He scorned me for waking him and scaring the family. Told me I was too old to still believe in the boogeyman. I got grounded for a week; trapped in the room I so desperately wanted out of. Where he would come again. 
  
I knew he would... it was only a matter of time before he showed back up. Locking my window and hiding under the covers did nothing. It seemed to just provoke him to hurt me more. some nights it seemed as if he enjoyed seeing me afraid and hiding. I began to just accept what was going to happen. we didn't play or have fun anymore; it just wanted to touch me. fondling me in all my private areas, making me feel things I didn't understand. my body felt weird with every touch.  
  
It told me these were games only we could play. games that true friends enjoyed together, other people wouldn't understand the games. when I tried to call his bluff I was met with shock and disbelief. My own mother didn't want to hear me talk about how he touched me at night. she told me I was just growing up and becoming a man. Feelings and dreams that I was having were normal for a boy my age. My mother told me my body was going through changes and I just had to come to terms with it. everything was normal and I had nothing to fear. 
  
My mother believed the creature from the neon mist was a figment of my imagination. something I thought up just to masturbate at night and not feel guilty. When I stressed the point she usually changed the subject, or gave me one of her famous favorite lines 
  
"Maybe you should go talk to your father about it" 
"Everyone has imaginary friends sweetheart; it's rude to talk to people about them. People will think your immature. You don't want to be immature right. Your a big boy now. Go play and say no more about this mist thing" 
  
Which meant I've heard enough of your lies. Go make dad deal with it and set you straight. I can't bear to deal with you right now. There were times when she would even get mad and tell me I was causing her migraine to get worse. She wondered where she went wrong in raising me; why I couldn't be like my brother. Going as far as to tell me my sister acted more manly then I did. It didn't matter where in my house I went for help I got scorned and teased. I became an outcast in my own home. 
  
School was no better either. I sought help from my guidance counselor. She sent the cops to my house to investigate my accusations. The whole town found out and began to consider my dad was molesting me. That brought even more trouble my way. I would never forget the beating my father gave me after the cops left. I didn't sit down right for a week my butt hurt so bad. After that things in my life just got worse. 
  
The bullying started and the teasing. name calling and scorning from my teachers and peers. I felt ostracized from my town. I couldn't walk ten feet without someone whispering or pointing at me. My brothers and sisters adopted the same mentality my parents had. They looked down on me as if I brought shame to the family name. 
  
 As I grew older thoughts of suicide danced in my head daily. When I finally got the courage to act on them. It only made things worse for me. everyone really began to believe I was crazy. I was diagnosed clinically depressed with Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder. The doctors told my parents the ADHD was what made me believe in the creature in the mist. Believe that I was being molested and that someone crept in my room at night. The depression was just an after effect of me not fully getting all the energy out of me. The impulsive need to tell my story triggered my stress response to go into overdrive. 
  
I was given medicine to stop the hallucinations as my doctor called them. pills to make me right again. He said I just needed to relax and focus my energy on something creative. Which is why I started drawing. It was the only thing to take me away from the corrupt reality I was living in. yet still the creature in the mist found a way to invade my creative space. I became obsessed with trying to draw it. I figure if I could show people what I saw at night they would understand and finally believe me. That was not the case though, my drawings were just labeled deviant and dark. 
  
I began to regret the day I ever opened my window to the neon black mist. Allowing this creature to come into my room. Welcoming it into my home as a friend. Now I hate the creature from the neon black mist. I didn't want to feel the electricity running through me anymore. The probes no longer fascinated me I despised them. I hated him just I hated my father for not believing me and protecting me.  
  
Now I am an adult and still afraid to look out the window at night. I fear that once again ill see the mist and begin the process over. He will force his way into my room and the games will start again. Even though I am much older stronger and wiser now, I know what the creature is capable of. I know it has no conscience nor does it care if I cry in pain. I know resistance is futile with the creature from the neon mist. It will shock you and hurt you until it get's what it wants. 
  
Some days though I find myself at night alone in my apartment. questioning myself if all of it was in my head. If what I thought was happening to me when I was younger was really real. Was the creature from the neon black mist ever really there? Could I of imagined him, imagined it touching me in my most private of places?  Did it really probe me over and over again with its electric rods? it had to be true i remember those nights as if they happened yesterday. 
  
Those blue piercing eyes that saw through my soul. they haunt me still and bring nightmares. To this day I still sometimes wake up in cold sweats. Thinking its rubbing it's disfigured hands over me, Bending me over my bed and probing me. Shocking me and gagging me when I call for help. I check the locks on my door and windows countless times a day. Never really feeling secure even in the place I now call home. 
  
It has been years since I have spoken with my family. They still feel I am crazy and in need of help. Even now after my counseling and staying on my meds. I feel a sense of resentment towards them for what the creature did to me. I try to listen to my counselor and release the anger. yet it is so tightly wound up inside me; that I can not seem to free it or come to terms with it. I know in my heart that the creature from the neon mist is still out there. Somewhere right now with a new victim playing the games he played with me. Shocking them and probing them as he did with me. Wrecking another innocent child's life for its own deviant amusement.